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Song Lyrics

Below, in reverse chronological order, are the lyrics to every original song that John has written and commercially released - this includes every original Hayseed Dixie song, Kerosene Brothers song, and John Wheeler solo recorded song. All typed in over a couple of bottles of Brunello di Montalcino by the man himself. Accept no half-assed imitations on those supposed, so-called “lyrics” websites out there. Get it from the source.


Ain’t No Country Big Enough
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love - it has no end

Now I see the face of fear in the people building borders
They’ve got a love-shaped hole in their hearts
But my love don’t follow customs and it don’t follow orders
Embracing possibility is where your freedom starts

And I’ll sing the song of spirit crying out for liberation
I ain’t gonna waste my love on no fiction of a nation

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love - it has no end

Now when a duck mates with a chicken then I’ll listen to your story
About how the different races ain’t the same
And when I can see a border from a satellite picture
Then I’ll believe a country’s more than a pawn in some game

And I’ll sing the song of spirit crying out for liberation
I ain’t gonna waste my love on no fiction of a nation

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love - it has no end

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is bigger than your hate
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love won’t be locked outside your gate

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love ain’t got no flag to wave
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love won’t be no nation’s slave

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love - it has no end


Move It In The Night
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

We are the people – the people that you’ve kept down
We are invisible – but we’re all around
And when you least expect it – that’s when we’ll attack
And you won’t feel the steel until it’s sticking through your back

		Your house is just a prison now
		Lock your doors and gates tight
		Cause I like to move it – Yeah

	I like to move it in the night night baby alright
	I like to move it in the night night baby alright

We are the people the ones you can’t control
You’ve got the money but we’ve got the soul
You own the palace but we own the street
We are the people that you don’t want to meet

		Your house is just a prison now
		Lock your doors and gates tight
		Cause I like to move it – Yeah

	I like to move it in the night night baby alright
	I like to move it in the night night baby alright

We are the people that you think you’re better than
You built your system but we’ve got our plan
Tear gas and social class they won’t protect you
Cause now we’re coming we’re coming to infect you

		Your palace is a prison now
		Lock your doors and gates tight
		Cause I like to move it – Yeah

	I like to move it in the night night baby alright
	I like to move it in the night night baby alright



So Quickly We Forget
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

How quickly we forget
Forget to remember
Who we’ve been and where we’ve come from
Cover up the embers
Of the fires that burned to separate back when
That we’re lighting once again

How quickly we forget
Our pride and our fear
The very things that we call love
To justify what brought us here
To where our love communicates
In the rhetoric of hate

	And truth is all interpretation
	If you’ve got the power
	We’ll interpret it your way
	(And live to fight another day)
	And come back to fight another day
	When we’re stronger

How quickly we forget
The final solution
Time and time again
We reinvent the revolution
That ends with that side’s yours and this side’s mine
Brother you just ain’t my kind

	And truth is all interpretation
	If you’ve got the power
	We’ll interpret it your way

	But in the end we’re sworn to win
	We can suffer longer
	It’s the measure of our love for hate
	To prove whose love is stronger
	For so quickly we forget
	So quickly we forget


When the World Gets Small
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

It’s a big world yeah when you’re winning
It’s a big world when you’ve got it all
But when your kids ain’t got nothing to eat
That’s when the world gets small

It’s a big world when you’re on top of it
Looking down from above it all
But when you find yourself homeless
That’s when the world gets small
Yeah that’s when the world gets small

	So you play the hand you’re dealt
	They’ll tell you that you’re free to choose
	But when the hand you’re dealt can only lose
	That’s when you bet it all
	That’s when the world gets small
	Yeah that’s when the world gets small

	So you play the hand you’re dealt
	They’ll tell you yeah you’re free to choose
	But when the hand you’re dealt can only lose
	That’s when you bet it all
	That’s when the world gets small
	Yeah that’s when the world gets small

When they tell you you’re stupid
When you know you mean nothing at all
Made to feel that your whole life is useless
That’s when the world gets small
Yeah that’s when the world gets small


Too Much Poop To Flush
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

There’s just too much poop to flush

You know everybody pees and everybody poops
But with 7 billion of us pooping that’s a lot of poop to scoop
It used to be recycling poop was something that the Earth could do
Ah but now we’re pooping out much more than She can chew

    And now there’s too much poop to flush
    All we are is what we do do
    There’s just too much poop to flush
    And there’s no place left to flush it to

There’s just too much poop too much poop to flush

Same story every time when there’s overpopulation
It leads to disease and mass starvation
And violent destruction so what’s left for you and me
We’re just like the fishes we’re swimming in our pee

    And now there’s too much poop to flush
    All we are is what we do do
    There’s just too much poop to flush
    And no there’s place left to flush it to

There’s just too much poop to flush

        It’s an inconvenient truth nobody want’s to say
        There’s just too many people in the world today
        There’s too many people and every day too many more
        What the world needs now is a plague and a war

    There’s too much poop to flush
    All we are is what we do do
    There’s just too much poop to flush
    And no there’s place left to flush it to


Insect Kingdom
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

When the temperatures rise and the oceans do too
There won’t be no me there won’t be no you
Only the strong will survive
There won’t be nothing around here left alive

    Just an insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom yeah

When the glaciers melt and so do the trees
And antibiotics stop curing disease
Only the fit persevere
And there won’t be anything left around here

    Just an insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom yeah

When the oceans erupt in waterspouts
You’ll forget all the crap that you’ve been bitching about
You won’t have time to cry
Every last living thing is gonna die

    Except the insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom
    Insect kingdom yeah


Doomsday Dance Parade
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Last night the Revolution left us screaming for more
Hosing all the blood up off the dance floor
So open up the morgue open up the jail
Cause everybody’s free – they’re free to raise hell

    And it’s hey hey how you want to play
    Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

It’s a double down or nothing point of nothing returned
Ain’t nothing gained and ain’t nothing learned
We’ll cross that bridge once it’s already burned
Once we’re done way past it

    And it’s hey hey how you want to play
    Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

        Shot dead by the starting gun
        Tell the boy what he might have won

    And it’s hey hey how you want to play
    Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

So you blow the whole circuit but protect the fuse
You’ve got nothing but your soul to lose
And a beggar in heaven won’t never refuse
One chance to be a king in hell boys

    And it’s hey hey – how you wanna play
    Love is here to visit hate is here to stay
    And it’s hey hey – pomp and circumstance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance


Just My Job
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Well I grew up hard and I grew up mean
In a black and white world with nothing in between
Wrong or right, dead or alive
You do what you do or you don’t survive
You want to feel secure just leave it to me
I’m the man with the plan for security
I’ve got the supply that creates the demand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

    And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
    Gas em’ in the front then shoot em’ in the back
    It’s just my job let me tell you son
    I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
    Working for my pay till the working day is done

Between color and country religion and tribe
You can measure ‘em all by the size of the bribe
Line ‘em all up and toss me in the mix
Ain’t a problem in the world cold cash can’t fix
I’m selling prevention to be sure
But I make more money from a pound of cure
You tell yourself it’s just chance but I had it all planned
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

    And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
    Gas em’ in the front then shoot em’ in the back
    It’s just my job let me tell you son
    I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
    Working for my pay till the working day is done

        If you want it you can have it too
        There’s no difference between me and you

So I’ve told you the truth like you want to hear
Shake hands with the devil and buy me a beer
If it bends your mind like a piece of glass
The next one son is aimed right at your ass
You can deal with the truth or it’ll deal with you
Say you don’t believe it well babe it’s still true
Believe it’s accidental but someone’s in command
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

    And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
    Gas em’ in the front then shoot em’ in the back
    It’s just my job let me tell you son
    I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
    Working for my pay till the working day is done


Something I Don’t See
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

I was the 26th person in line
At the automated teller machine
I counted the smart phones, that’s how I know
I felt like the 26th letter in the alphabet
There at the end
With no place better to go

    And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
    You must have your eyes on something
    Something I don’t see
    Something I don’t see

I counted 26 “Jesus Saves” stickers
On the bumpers of imported cars
On the freeway on my way home
I flipped the radio on and felt a little like Nero
There at the end
Playing my fiddle to the falling of Rome

    And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
    You must have your eyes on something I don’t see
    And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
    You must have your eyes on something
    Something I don’t see
    Something I don’t see

I tossed the 26th empty whisky bottle
To the sidewalk in front of my house
Right there for God and all the neighbors to see
Just like the 26th letter in the alphabet
There at the end
With no place better to be

    And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
    You must have your eyes on something I don’t see
    And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
    You must have your eyes on something
    Something I don’t see


No Room For Doubt
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Lord I know you’re the one for me
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
Cause only you can set me free
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

    We’re gonna show the world
    What love is all about
    Cause all I know is what I feel
    And what I feel is all that’s real
    And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
    No there ain’t no room for doubt

Well I don’t care what you may say
Cause there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
I’ve made my mind up anyway
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

    We’re gonna show the world
    What love is all about
    Cause all I know is what I feel
    And what I feel is all that’s real
    And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
    No there ain’t no room for doubt

Well my heart’s here upon my sleeve
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
Cause I just see what I believe
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

    We’re gonna show the world
    What love is all about
    Cause all I know is what I feel
    And what I feel is all that’s real
    And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
    No there ain’t no room for doubt


You Should Know By Now
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

You should know by now who you’re talking to
And you should know why I don’t believe you
I don’t know why you pretend to be serious
I don’t even have to say it - it’s obvious

    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    Why do you act like you’re above it
    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    So why do you act so angry when you know you love it

You should know by now your whole life’s just one big scam
And you should know why nobody gives a damn
I don’t know why you pretend to be my friend for life
I guess you’re just looking for a tender spot to stick the knife

    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    Why do you act like you’re above it
    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    So why do you act so angry when you know you love it

        You know and I know
        You’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing legit
        You know and I know
        So why don’t you just spare me the bullshit

    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    Why do you act like you’re above it
    You should know by now
    That we’re all liars anyhow
    So why do you act so angry when you know you love it


Not Thinking About Anything
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

This morning I threw away the telephone
I shot eighteen holes in my brand new TV set
I’m another day older
But today is the day I’m gonna live with no regrets

    And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
    Right now I’m not thinking about anything

On the day that my first child was born by Caesarean section
My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer
At six in the morning all I saw was lightning
All I heard was thunder coughing back an answer

    And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
    Right now I’m not thinking about anything

        So many people are just taking up space
        If you think you’ve got to breathe just get out of my face
        Cause right now I’m not thinking about anything

If I could pay just a little less attention
You know it might not seem so strange
How the more that I want things to stay the same
The more I just seem to realize how fast things change

    And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
    Right now I’m not thinking about anything

        So many people are just taking up space
        If you think you’ve got to breathe just get out of my face

    Cause right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
    Right now I’m not thinking about anything

    Right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
    Right now I’m not thinking about anything


Four People
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Now I’m thinking of four people that I dearly love
And it’s just because of them I wish there was a God above
Because I can’t bear the thought of any of them dying
And it’s just because of them that I keep trying
To succeed

    And it’s my curse to offer up my love in silly rhymes
    When the only thing I’ve got that’s really worth a thing is time
    And these four people
    These four people are all I really need

And of this one thing there can be no denying
In a world of pure illusion there’s just one thing guaranteed

    Though I try to give them all my love in silly rhymes
    When the only thing I’ve got that’s really worth a thing is time
    And these four people
    These four people are all I really need


She Likes Bad Men
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

    Whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

Don’t waste your time thinking up a line
Just walk right up and say what’s on your mind
It don’t matter how you look, it just matters what you do
Because the chick digs jerks and tonight it could be you

    So whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

Tell her what you want, don’t tell her how you feel
Just talk about the car that you’re fixing to steal
Don’t you buy her a drink, that’ll make her think you’re nice
But if she thinks you’re a dick, boy, she won’t think twice

    So whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating
    You’ve got the tools so start fascilitating
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

        Well Cuz, you’re just a scuz but that’s OK because
        The less you care the more she does
        You’ve heard enough about sin, you want some that sticks
        There ain’t nothing wrong with her 100 dollars won’t fix

    So whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating
    Whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
    She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating


Down At the Exit
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Down at The Exit at the end of the world
In the glow of the neon lie the Ages impearled
Behind the bar on CNN the bullets are flying
But down at The Exit we ain’t thinking about dying

        And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
        There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”

    And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
    Yeah Yeah Yeah
    And down at the exit nobody’s asking why

Down at the exit the tape’s on erase
She told me, “Let’s just skip the part about the chase
And get down to what we’re here for, lord knows the way’s been paved”
Down at the exit we don’t want to be saved

        And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
        There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”

    And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
    Yeah Yeah Yeah
    And down at the exit nobody’s asking why
    Nobody’s asking

Oh she’s got that perfect body, yeah but don’t they all
Cause when all your dreams are re-runs don’t the world start looking small

        And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
        There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”
        And I say, “Hey baby ain’t no love in your lover
        Cause there ain’t a man in here can tell one girl from another”

    And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
    Yeah Yeah Yeah
    Down at the exit nobody’s asking why
    Yeah nobody’s asking


Doomsday Dance
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Last night the Revolution left us screaming for more
Hosing all the blood up off the dance floor
So open up the morgue, open up the jail
Cause everybody’s free – they’re free to raise hell

    And it’s hear hear – the end is near
    There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

It’s a double down or nothing point of nothing returned
Ain’t nothing gained and ain’t nothing learned
We’ll cross that bridge once it’s already burned
Once we’re done way past it

    And it’s hear hear – the end is near
    There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

        Shot dead by the starting gun
        Tell the boy what he might have won

    And it’s hear hear – the end is near
    There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
    And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance
	
Now you’re dressing up for killing in your cement shoes
You’ve got nothing but your soul to lose
And a beggar in heaven won’t never refuse
One chance to be a king in hell boys

    And it’s hear hear – the end is near
    There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
    And it’s hey hey – pomp and circumstance
    Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance


Deeper In Debt
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well the banker’s got plenty but I ain’t got any
And we just get deeper in debt
And I’m working like a slave but there’s nothing left to save
And we just get deeper in debt
    I said deeper in debt
    Well I’m skint yeah I’m skint
    Before I even make it man it’s already spent

You know I’d drive us to the bar but they repossessed my car
And we just get deeper in debt
Hell I’d call you for a loan but they just cut off my phone
And we just get deeper in debt
    I said deeper in debt
    Well it’s mean yeah it’s mean
    I’m feeling like a gear in a broken machine

Well the only way to get it is to put it on credit
And we just get deeper in debt
Yeah the principal’s renewing and the interest keeps accruing
And we just get deeper in debt
    I said deeper in debt
    Well I’m broke I’m flat broke
    I’d hang myself but I can’t afford a rope

They say the government can save us from the misery they gave us
And we just get deeper in debt
They tax the drinkers and the smokers and they give it to the brokers
And we just get deeper in debt
    I said deeper in debt
    Well I’m screwed I’m so screwed
    By the time I pay my tax bill there’s nothing left for food Lord

    I said deeper in debt
    Well it’s sick yeah it’s sick
    Can’t feed my family man I think I’ll start throwing bricks

Because the banker’s got plenty but I ain’t got any
And we just get deeper in debt
And I’m working like a slave but there’s nothing left to save
And we just get deeper in debt
    You know we just get deeper in debt    
    Man we just get deeper in debt


Little Houses In a Row
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

The sun struggles up behind the smoky old mountain
The factory horn starts to blow
And all down the street the screen doors start to slam
On these little houses here in a row
On these little houses here in a row

Well I was born in these mountains and I guess I should love 'em
But Lord you don't want me to lie
Cause since I can remember, I’ve just been waiting
For a chance to tell this place goodbye
For a chance to tell this place goodbye

    It’s a winding road out of these mountains
    Sometimes the going gets slow
    When all you ever hear around this town is “never”
    They say, “Son you know you’ll never go
    Too far from these little houses here in a row”

        This town beats you down till you’re too weak to cry
        ’Till all of the fire is gone from your eyes
        Leaves you hoping for nothing but just to live til you die

You never can tell where a journey will end
I just know that mine has begun
If anyone asks where I’ve gone to, my friend
Tell ’em headed East into the sun
I’m headed East into the sun

    They say the road goes on forever
    It might take me that long, I don’t know
    But I’ll know what I’m looking to find when I find it
    Wherever that road leads I’ll go
    Far away from these little houses here in a row
    Far away from these little houses here in a row


Küss Mich Noch Einmal
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

As soon as I get used to you babe
I won’t hear you when you shout
As soon as I get used to you babe
I won’t even notice when you turn the bedroom lights out

        But right now you’re new
        And every beat of my heart is true
        So don’t think it through
        How we’ll both feel in a year or two 

    Alles wird gleich
    Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
    Alles wird gleich
    Küss mich noch einmal

As soon as I get used to you babe
There’ll be no smile that I can’t fake
As soon as I get used to you babe
I’ll never make a promise that I’m not prepared to break

        But right now you’re new
        And every beat of my heart is true
        So don’t think it through
        How we’ll both feel in a year or two 

    Alles wird gleich
    Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
    Alles wird gleich
    Küss mich noch einmal

Right now in this moment all I want is you
So don’t let this moment disappear
Because there ain’t nothing baby nothing I won’t do
Just to hold you until you whisper in my ear

    Alles wird gleich
    Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
    Alles wird gleich
    Küss mich noch einmal


Like I Want You
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well I know you think your body ain’t what it used to be
But believe me when I tell you it still looks perfect to me
And the girl you used to be could never move me like the woman you’ve become
Cause you’re my wife you’re my lover and you’re my children’s mom

        You know I work hard for us baby
        You know I work night and day
        And all I want is for you darling is just take me in your arms
        Take me in your arms

    Cause every night I could see you brand new
    If you just wanted me like I want you
    And there ain’t nothing baby ain’t nothing I wouldn’t do
    If you just wanted me like I want you
    If you just wanted me like I want you

When we’re lying in bed at the end of the night
You put down your magazine and you just turn out the light
And you tell me you’re just tired well baby how tired can you be
Cause all that I’m feeling is that you’re tired of me

        You know I work hard for us baby
        You know I work night and day
        And all I want is for you darling is just take me in your arms
        Take me in your arms

    Cause every night I could see you brand new
    If you just wanted me like I want you
    And there ain’t nothing baby ain’t nothing I wouldn’t do
    If you just wanted me like I want you
    If you just wanted me like I want you


Street Sweeper Lullaby
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

That girl’s so young and pretty
But she won’t look at me
I’m way too old and ugly
As far as she can see
A pearl is still a pearl
By any other names
Sometimes I’d like to see that girl
Swallowed up in flames

    Cause every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
    Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
    One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down

Walking past the church
I can hear the choir sing
Oh but all their words of love
Well they don’t really mean a thing 
They say Jesus died to save me
I think Jesus was a liar
Cause sometimes I see him hanging there
Catching on fire

    Cause every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
    Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
    One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down

Oh can’t you see it in my eyes
Oh there’s a flame that never dies
Cause every night every night I sweep these dirty streets clean
One of these nights Oh Lord I swear I’m gonna use some gasoline

    Cause every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
    Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
    One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down


Wondering Why I Ever Go Home
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

There’s a girl in Tennessee who tells me she loves me
But that’s easier said easier said than done
And one in Winterthur who tells me that she’s sure
I’m out here running, running just to be on the run

        Well she may be right but tonight I’m free
        And there’s a bottle of Brunello waiting for me

    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Underneath a sky of polished chrome
    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home

Sometimes I think of home after I leave it
After I can see it from a long long way away
Change is better than rest you’d better believe it
Cause every time I leave reminds me why I couldn’t stay

        And there’s a new beginning in every end
        The warm smell of possibility on the wind

    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Underneath a sky of polished chrome
    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home
    Yeah I’m wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home

        I’ll take the next devil not the ones I know
        So you can cut that deck baby cut it high low

    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Underneath a sky of polished chrome
    Down the coast highway headed for Rome
    Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home
    Yeah I’m wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home


Black Forest Skies
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Wherever I may wander wherever I may roam
Out on the sea the sirens call to me
But my Geist remembers its home

    And when I close my eyes
    Every night I see Black Forest skies
    No matter where my body lies
    Every night I sleep beneath Black Forest skies

The whole world round I’ve traveled on my Erfahrung quest
But come what may I know where I’ll stay
When I finally come to rest

    Because when I close my eyes
    Every night I see Black Forest skies
    No matter where my body lies
    Every night I sleep beneath Black Forest skies

        And I’m going back there
        To the smell of the Tannen filling up the air 

    Wenn ich meine Augen schließe
    Jede Nacht sehe ich des Schwarzwald Himmel
    Egal wo ich liege
    Jede Nacht schlafe ich untern schönen Schwarzwald Himmel


Walk Between the Raindrops
(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well you can say I’ve got no feelings and that may be
But there ain’t no point in caring as far as I can see
I just walk between the raindrops
Well I may be cold but I never get wet
And I never loved a woman that I couldn’t forget

    I just walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’m gonna soak it all in until my beating heart stops
    And I’ll walk between the raindrops

Well since I was a child it’s been clear to me
The more you get attached man the less you’re free
So I walk between the raindrops
And sometimes I’m up but I ain’t never down
Cause if things get too heavy that’s when leave town

    And I walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’ll take what you’ve got until you tell me to stop
    And I’ll walk between the raindrops

Well maybe true love is out there somewhere
But till it hunts me down and kills me baby I don’t care
I just walk between the raindrops
So if you want to hold me better hold me tonight
Cause I’ll be packing up and rolling come the morning light

    And I walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
    You know I can’t sit still until my beating heart stops
    I’ll just walk between the raindrops
    Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
    Gonna live every step until the last shoe drops
    Yeah I walk between the raindrops


Everything I’ve Got Coming
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

Well I never cared about anybody’s pain
If they cried to me they cried in vain
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
I’ve dealt in slaves I’ve dealt in guns
I’ve stole elections and pension funds
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
    When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

I’ve watched nations go to war
With the bombs and planes they bought from my store
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
I can hear their screaming ringing in my head
But when I shut my eyes they all drop dead
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
    When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

Life is cheap and freedom ain’t free
And Christ died for nothing if he died for me
Cause I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
I’ve got no regrets don’t get me wrong
This ain’t no redemption song
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
    Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
    When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
    I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight


Maybe It’s Be Better
(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

You said we should get counseling, we needed professional help
So I went and got a pro, I pulled old Jim Beam off the shelf
One shot I was feeling better, two shots it began to unwind
It won’t take but a couple more of these to get me out of my mind

    I’ll take a drink over a shrink any day
    Cause my heart don’t want to hear what my mind’s got to say
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    If my mind just went away

Sometimes what you’re feeling is more true than what you think
And I feel more of what you’re thinking with every single drink
I could end this all tonight but I’d have hell to pay
So maybe it’d be better if my mind just went away

    I’ll take a drink over a shrink any day
    Cause my heart don’t want to hear what my mind’s got to say
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    If my mind just went away

        I’ve come to expect the worst
        It’s always worse than I expected
        If suffering’s an art
        Baby we’ve got it perfected

    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    If my mind just went away
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    Maybe it’d be better
    If my mind just went away


Reagan Leigh Cornett
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

    Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
    I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
    I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
    But I ain’t done it yet
    Reagan Leigh Cornett

The first time that I met her we ate berries from a moonshine jar
But I guess she didn’t eat enough for me to get her in the back of my car
That’s been more than a year gone by but I still can’t forget
The finest girl in East Tennessee Miss Reagan Leigh Cornett

    Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
    I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
    I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
    But I ain’t done it yet
    Reagan Leigh Cornett

The last time that I saw her we shared some apple pie
Now if I can’t taste the rest of her believe I’d rather die
I know her man’s the jealous kind and it’ll either be him or me
Tonight a man’s gonna lose his life for the love of Reagan Leigh

    Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
    I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
    I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
    But I ain’t done it yet
    Reagan Leigh Cornett


One Way Ticket To Nowhere
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

    I’m on my way I’m on my way
    You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

Got a .45 riding beside me 99 to life in the trunk
Got half the law in Tennessee looking for me so I might as well get drunk
So follow me if you can boys up the top of Kirby Hill
Where if my knife don’t take your life you can bet my shotgun will

        I heard you say someday I’ll pay cause I’m a wanted man
        Well I say say catch me if you can

    Cause I’m on my way I’m on my way
    You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

Out in the middle of nowhere that’s where I’m gonna be
Well I may not have much of nothing at all but at least I’ll know I’m free
Cause you’re all living dead in the cities chasing each other to hell
And everybody knows it’s all fixing to blow so let me just wish you well

        Across the Rubikon the point of no return    
        I’ll be sitting on a mountain in the middle of nowhere
        Watching your cities all burn

    Cause I’m on my way I’m on my way
    You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere
    I’m on my way I’m on my way
    You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

        (On my way) you’ll never take me
        (On my way) you’ll never break me
        (On my way) you’ll never take me alive
        (On my way) you’ll never take me
        (On my way) you’ll never break me
        (On my way) nobody’s getting out alive

    I’m on my way I’m on my way
    You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere


Love Cabin
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

I’ve got a house down here in the valley
I’ve got a pretty wife her name is Sally
But I want you once just to see the look on your face
I’m gonna have to take you to my secret place

        At my love cabin up here on the hill
        You know my gun is loaded I can fire at will
        So we can drink one more of what you’re having
        Then I’m gonna take you up the mountain to my

    Love Cabin 
    (I’ll get to know you in my) Love Cabin
    (I’m gonna show you my) Love Cabin
    Well you can make yourself at home baby

Nothing ventured baby nothing gained
Cause I’m a mad dog honey just breaking my chain
You look at me that way, it’s my heart you’re stabbing
Think I’m gonna have to take you up the mountain to my Love Cabin

        At my love cabin up here on the hill
        You know my gun is loaded I can fire at will
        So we can drink one more of what you’re having
        Then I’m gonna take you baby up the mountain to my

    Love Cabin
    (I’ll get to know you in my) Love Cabin
    (I’m gonna show you my) Love Cabin
    Well you wanna see it baby right here it is, yeah!

    Love Cabin
    (I’m gonna stroke you in my) Love Cabin
    (Might have to choke you in my) Love Cabin
    Ain’t no smoke without a fire fire fire raging fire in my
    Love Cabin (gotta keep your mouth shut about my)
    Love Cabin (I can stroke you in the butt in my)
    Love Cabin (once I get your throat cut
    I could kill you love you kill you
    love you kill you in my)
    Love Cabin
    I could kill you


Nicotine and Alcohol
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

You’ve got me shaking yeah I’m shaking
Every time I think of you
You’ve got me shaking yeah I’m shaking
Cause thinking about you is all that I do
My body’s aching yeah I’m aching
I just want you back again
Because I never thought that it could hurt so bad
To give you up my friend

    Oh nicotine and alcohol
    I’m here to tell you all
    When you try to quit em’ they get mean alcohol and nicotine
    Alcohol and nicotine

You’ve got me hurting yeah I’m hurting
And I just can’t stand the pain
You got me hurting yeah I’m hurting
Hell I’m going right out of my brain
My head is reeling yeah I’m feeling
I just need you one more time
Cause I’m jumping out of my flesh you know
And I can’t find my mind

    Oh nicotine and alcohol
    I’m here to tell you all
    When you try to quit em’ they get mean
    Alcohol and nicotine
    Alcohol and nicotine

        Oh oh how can you hurt me so
        Oh oh how can you do it
        Oh oh how can you hurt me so
        Oh oh I’ll never get through it

    Nicotine and alcohol
    I’m here to tell you all
    When you try to quit em’ they get mean
    Alcohol and nicotine
    Alcohol and nicotine


Whiskey Ain’t As Risky
(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

It’s close to closing time here at the bar
And by the way you’re buying me drinks
I know the kind of woman that you are
This longing in my heart has got me thinking
But what’s left of my mind well it says keep on drinking

    Cause I could go home with you tonight
    You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
    But I know come the cold morning light
    That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
    No the whiskey ain’t as risky

I came in here with pure intentions
And me and old Jim Beam we don’t need your intervention
I’m not ready for the end of what you’re ready to start
And when the hangover leaves it won’t break my heart

    I could go home with you tonight
    You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
    But I know come the cold morning light
    That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
    No the whiskey ain’t as risky

        I’ve heard it said true love can set you free
        But the whiskey always works just fine for me

    Cause I could go home with you tonight
    You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
    But I know come the cold morning light
    That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
    No the whiskey ain’t as risky


Die Richtige Zeit Für Schwarzbier
(John Wheeler and Michael Griese)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

    Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Leider 
    Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Heute haben wir ordentlich viel getrunken
Aber unser Schiff ist noch nicht gesunken
Doch leider
Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

    Aber jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Leider 
    Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Ich kann diese trockene Kehle nicht länger ertragen
Ich kenn einen Markt, komm gib mir schnell deinen Wagen
Leider
Leider haben wir kein Geld für Schwarzbier

    Doch jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Leider 
    Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Siehst du Thomas, er liegt auf dem Boden ohnmächtig
Vielleicht hat er Geld, dann nehmen wir es, ganz wichtig
Freu Dich
Freu Dich er hat zwanzig Euros für Schwarzbier

    Und damit ist jede Zeit die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
    Leider
    Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier


The Man With the Money
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about the power
The man with the money is the idol of the hour
He’s got no heart and he’s got no soul
But the man with the money’s got it all under control

    And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
    He’s keeping track of everything you do
    Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
    The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved
		
Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about corruption
The man with the money’s got us headed for destruction
He smiles in you face while he bleeds you dry
Yeah the man with the money ain’t nothing but a lie

    And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
    He’s keeping track of everything you do
    Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
    The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved

Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about rage
The man with the money’s got us locked up in his cage
Debt’s his prison and fear’s his guard
Yeah the man with the money runs the whole damn yard
	
    And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
    He’s keeping track of everything you do
    Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
    The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved


One More
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

It would have been cheaper to keep her, that’s what I found out
When they told me how much it was gonna cost me after she threw me out
I’ve got a letter here from a lawyer that says I don’t own nothing no more
So I’m drinking, driving what used to be my car away from what used to be my front door

        The one thing that’s clear to me standing here 
        With blood down the front of my shirt
        Another drink won’t make it no better
        But I don’t see how it can hurt

    One more that’s my sole desire
    Lord it lifts my spirits higher
    When they start to pour
    One more and curse the day I met her
    It won’t make things no better than they were before
    But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more

She said if I didn’t quit drinking she was gonna throw me out
I said you and what army baby now here’s what I’m talking about
When I pulled out a bottle of whiskey she pulled out the shotgun
And brother when a woman draws a 12-gauge on you the only thing to do is run

        I’ll tell you more I didn’t let that front door
        Hit me in the ass
        Now all I’m thinking sitting here
        Staring at this empty glass
			
    Is one more that’s my sole desire
    Lord it lifts my spirits higher
    When they start to pour
    One more and curse the day I met her
    It won’t make things no better than they were before
    But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more

        I’m telling you Man it’s in my plan
        To be the drunkest fool in town
        And if I get drunk enough
        I just might burn that house right down

    Is one more that’s my sole desire
    Lord it lifts my spirits higher
    When they start to pour
    One more and curse the day I met her
    It won’t make things no better than they were before
    But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more


You Can Always Leave Town
(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

Sometimes times can get hard
When you’ve reached all the limits on your credit cards
And you just get in deeper each day
And you’re too broke to cover the debts you must pay

    You can always leave town
    And turn your whole world around
    When you’re wells have gone dry
    And your ships have all sunk
    And your bridges have all burned down
    You can always leave town

When the woman you see on the side
Confesses it all to your wife
When the fur starts to fly and the tears start to fall
And the blood’s about to be spilled
You’d better get out before you get killed

    You can always leave town
    And turn your whole world around
    When you’re wells have gone dry
    And your ships have all sunk
    And your bridges have all burned down
    You can always leave town

        When there ain’t no denying
        There’s no use in trying
        And life has become one big mess
        When you can’t change it
        And you can’t rearrange it
        You can always changed your address

    You can always leave town
    And turn your whole world around
    When you’re wells have gone dry
    And your ships have all sunk
    And your bridges have all burned down
    You can always leave town


Elm Street Rock Cafe
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Sgt. Munchs Drikkeklubb Band” (2011)

Go go go across the mountains in the snow
It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo hey

Well we started in Stavanger, I’m surprised we’re still alive
Cause we drank so much at Folken that no one was fit to drive
Still I rode my bike to Bergen through the sleet and snow and rain
But the girl there at Garage was what completely wrecked my brain
Push it to the red
We’ll sleep when we’re dead

    And it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
    It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
    And it’s hey hey hey get the hell out of my way
    I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

Last night up in Tromsø drunk as we could be
The sun stayed out all night and just to spite it so did we
At the bar at Blå Rock I lost all sense and fear
Cause a girl named Marianne bought me 15 pints of beer
Smiling sweet as sin
She said to come again

    And it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
    It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
    And it’s hey hey hey got one more show to play
    Then I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

From Trondheim down to Sogndal, Husnes to Kvinesdal
The beers, fjords and women, Lord you know I’ve loved them all
Written in my soul just like an old familiar song
No matter where I go I know there’s one place I belong

    Yeah it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
    It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
    And it’s hey hey hey I’m coming back to stay
    I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café


Dagen Derpå
(John Wheeler og Kjell Himsett)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Sgt. Munchs Drikkeklubb Band” (2011)

    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå kommer aldri
    Hvis du alltid reparerer

I går var jeg og Espen på fylla på byen
Og da vi møttes i dag var han litt av et syn
Han var klein
Og jeg var fin
Hadde han drukket mer enn meg i går?
Jeg smilte og jekket meg nok en øl
Og svarte nei
Du tar feil

    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå kommer aldri
    Hvis du alltid reparerer

Jeg trenger ikke å sove
Jeg trenger ikke å spise
Jeg trenger ikke å tenke
Jeg trenger bare mer å drikke

    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå
    Dagen derpå kommer aldri
    Hvis du alltid reparerer


Tolerance
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

Drinking beer ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get drunk anymore
I think I’m gonna stop for a year and not a drink a thing
So I can get good and drunk like I did before

    Tolerance
    People say we need tolerance
    I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
    Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
    Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
    Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time

Smoking pot ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get high anymore
I think I’m gonna stop for a year and not smoke a thing
So I can get really high like I did before

    Tolerance
    People say we need tolerance
    I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
    Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
    Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
    Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time

Loving you ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get excited anymore
I’m think I’m gonna leave you babe and go wandering
Find me a girl to turn me on once more

    Tolerance
    People say we need tolerance
    I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
    Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
    Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
    Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time


Alien Abduction Probe
(John Wheeler & Lonnie Flemmer)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

I saw the light, they returned last night
Unanswered questions torture me
How they unlocked the door and why is my rectum sore
And why do I twitch when I watch ET

    Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
    They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
    It’s all so cruel and cold
    They put my life on hold
    This crap is getting old
    Alien abduction probe

They stuck a microchip in the hole between my hips
Such a gross indignity
Involuntary cornhole-ation courtesy of the Alien Nation
Why do they always pick on me

    Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
    They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
    It’s all so cruel and cold
    They put my life on hold
    This crap is getting old
    Alien abduction probe

Late at night I wait alone, staring up at the twilight zone
With a sawed off shotgun in my hand
Drinking cheap wine getting plastered, waiting for those grey green bastards
It’s the only way I can make them understand

    Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
    They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
    It’s all so cruel and cold
    They put my life on hold
    This crap is getting old
    Alien abduction probe


In the Backyard
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

    Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
    He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

Big Jim he’d drink enough whiskey to float a bass boat into town	
And when he’d get to drinking that way he liked to smack his Susie around
But late last Friday night I guess she couldn’t take no more
When the cops came round to investigate the sound she just pointed out the back door (and said)

    Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
    He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

When the police asked her what happened Susie said she didn’t have a clue
She said he’d took his pistol out to give it a clean and that’s all she knew
And she cried tears that were so sincere till she was out of breath
While the chief detective was writing in his note pad “accidental death”

    Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
    He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

Well if you like to smack you woman you’d better heed these words my son
Cause there’s a whole lot of women these days getting pretty good with a gun
You might think you’ve got her under control you just might be surprised
When your pretty little woman puts a .45 hole right between your eyes

    Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
    He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
    Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead


Norfolk Girl
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    You tell me I’m the one
    Until the morning sun yeah
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee

I’ve been around, hell I’ve seen this world through
But I’ve never seen me a woman like you
Cinnamon hair eyes of emerald green
Bitter and sweet and everything in between yeah

    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    You tell me I’m the one
    Until the morning sun yeah
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee

You ain’t no child, yeah you’ve seen a few men
You see them once never see them again
Early this morning I’ll be leaving too
But I don’t believe I can leave without you now

    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
    You tell me I’m the one
    Until the morning sun yeah
    Hey there Norfolk girl
    Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee


She’s Just My Type
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

She’s unproductive and destructive
Too bad she’s so seductive
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She hates cleaning she hates cooking
Too bad she’s so good looking
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s mean she’s unclean
But man the way she fills those jeans
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She always tells me lies runs around with other guys
But when I get myself up in her thighs
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

    Maybe I should listen when my friends say she’s a witch
    Maybe it should piss me off she’s such a total bitch
	
She’s just my type, she’s just my type
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s vicious unambitious
Too bad she’s so delicious
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s a total slob she’s got no job
But man the way she gives a (radio edit)
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

    Maybe it should make me mad she hurts me with such verve
    But maybe she’s the kind of girl a jerk like me deserves - yeah

She’s just my type, she’s just my type
She’s just my type, she’s just my type


Underneath the Bed
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed
    If I find out you’ve been untrue
    You know we’ll both soon be dead
    So baby tell me true
    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed

Well I know you keep on telling me that everything is fine
And I know you promised me baby you’d never cross that line
You know how violent I can get when faced with rejection
But it might make me feel better if I knew you used protection

    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed
    If I find out you’ve been untrue
    You know we’ll both soon be dead
    So baby tell me true
    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed

There’s just one thing baby that I don’t understand
I know that it ain’t mine cause Durex Close Fit ain’t my brand
Don’t ask me how I know it’s used let’s just say I do
I know the what the where the how now won’t you tell me who

    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed
    If I find out you’ve been untrue
    You know we’ll both soon be dead
    So baby tell me true
    Who put that condom in my shoe
    Underneath the bed


Cult Band
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

Well we’re doing it our way and hitting the highway
Hauling our own gear and playing for free beer
Once in a while we get paid
And when the biker chicks are drunk sometimes the soundman gets laid

    Cause we’re playing in a cult band
    Yeah we’re playing in a cult band
    That’s how we know we’re cool man
    Cause you’re listening to what we’re playing for you
    And all the uncool people man they don’t have a clue
    Like we do
    Cause we’re playing in a cult band

Whatever I’m thinking I might as well say it
Cause the mainstream radio ain’t never gonna play it
When’s the last time you heard a banjo
On the radio (the last time they played us)

    You were listening to a cult band
    Yeah listening to a cult band
    That’s how you know you’re cool man
    It’s just a chosen few who like the music you do
    And the mainstream people man they don’t have a clue
    But you do
    Cause you’re listening to a cult band

If you can’t do it you ought to review it
If you can’t realize it just criticize it
Cause if you really had something interesting to say
You’d be making records I might want to play

    And you’d be playing in a cult band
    Yeah you’d be playing in a cult band
    And you’d know that you were cool man
    You’d be a player too and we’d be listening to you
    And the crowd at your show would all be in the know
    Like ours are
    Playing in a cult band
    Playing in a cult band


Bouncing Betty Boogie
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
    Bounce right here upon my knee
    Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
    Bouncing Betty baby get down
    Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

Bouncing Betty baby won’t you blow my mind
Right out of my skull honey it’s OK
Rip my heart baby blow me apart
Let the paramedics take me away
Well, you can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
Come on come on come on come one

    Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
    Bounce right here upon my knee
    Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
    Bouncing Betty baby get down
    Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight
		
Bouncing Betty baby won’t you come real near
Don’t hide honey now don’t be pensive
Have no fear baby hold me dear
Cause you look so expensive
But you’ve been making lots of money for the ones that love you honey
Come on come on come on come on

    Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
    Bounce right here upon my knee
    Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
    Bouncing Betty baby get down
    Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

        You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
        You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
        You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
        Come on come on come on come on

Bouncing Betty baby out here in the jungle
Bouncing Betty rock and roll
I hear the detonator and I feel the rumble
Deep down in my soul
Love is war and I want more
Come on come on come on come on

    Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
    Bounce right here upon my knee
    Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
    Bouncing Betty baby get down
    Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight
    Lordy Mama, you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight


Set Myself On Fire
(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

I’m gonna set myself on fire, set myself on fire
I’m gonna get your attention, you’re gonna notice me

I’m gonna show you what love is, I’m gonna show you what real true love is
I’m gonna show you what love is, baby, cause love’s a raging fire

        And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
        So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
        Of my misery
        Can’t you see love burning me

    Oh I’ll set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
    Set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
    Watch the flames climb higher oooh that smell

And I don’t care what my friends say, you’ll be so perfect for me
And I don’t care what your friends say, they’re the one’s who are crazy

        And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
        So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
        Of my misery
        Can’t you see love burning me

    Set myself on fire
    Ooh ooh ooh set myself on fire

If I may make a suggestion, just pay careful attention
It starts off cute with a lighter but ends up with me and a shotgun
And you crying and me crying
On the news crying, “Don’t you want me, baby?!”

        And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
        So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
        Of my misery
        Can’t you see love burning me

    And so I’ll set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
    Set myself on fire (set myself on fire)


When Washington Comes Around
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

When Washington comes around
He says, “Man, we’re gonna party tonight
Gonna roll, gonna rock, gonna level the block
Because nobody’s putting up a fight!”
When Washington comes around
He let’s you know who you’re really working for
But long as I get paid, long as I get laid
I’m gonna keep coming back for more

    Cause I don’t think I care
    As long as I can still get my share
    When Washington comes around

When Washington comes around
Sometimes he don’t even knock no more
He just helps himself to the beer in the fridge
And leaves the empty bottles laying on the floor
When Washington comes around
He says, “Times are changing back again!”
Says he remembers a day when everything was OK
Before it all went to hell in a sea of sin

    And I don’t think I care
    As long as I can still get my share
    When Washington comes around

When Washington comes around
He says, “Everything is going our way!”
If I can just overlook all the cash his friends took
Then everything will be OK
When Washington comes around
He says, “It’s time for us to sacrifice!”
If I could just forget that he’s placing a bet
It won’t matter to me he’s throwing loaded dice


Born To Die In France
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

Great Grandaddy died back in the First World War
Other people’s money is what he was fighting for
Now the taxman’s still got both his hands deep down my pants
Maybe I was born to die in France

I’ve done rode my motorbike across most of France today
And I could make it to the Swiss border if the strikers get out of my way
But it’s raining glass and the sun’s gone black so Death’s still got a chance
Maybe I was born to die in France

    They won’t speak my language
    They don’t like my kind
    I couldn’t feel more out of place
    I couldn’t be more out of my mind
    But I’ve watched my whole life flash before my eyes like an angry glance
    Maybe I was born to die in France

I’m thinking all these governments do is check my passport at their door
And all the do full stop is guard the rich folks from the poor
The Age of Reason’s bought and paid for the Age of Consumers in a Trance
Hell maybe I was born to die in France

    They won’t speak my language
    They don’t like my kind
    I couldn’t feel more out of place
    I couldn’t be more out of my mind
    But I’ve watched my whole life flash before my eyes like an angry glance
    Maybe I was born to die in France

    Sometimes I can forgive the Truth
    Other times I lie
    I’ve never been afraid to live
    And man - I ain’t afraid to die
    Tonight I’m pulling the throttle full and just leave it up to chance
    Cause maybe I was born to die in France
    Yeah maybe I was born to die in France

Stephanie Come To Me Secretly
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know what this love is all about
    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know we can’t let them find out
    Oh Stephanie come to me secretly

In the morning drinking coffee, through the blinds
I see you working in your yard
And the flowers that you’ve planted there have grown
Just like the feelings in our hearts
And Lord, your man’s got money, but like his love
He keeps it too close to his chest
So give him what you have to but for me
I know you always save your best

    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know what this love is all about
    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know we can’t let them find out
    Oh Stephanie come to me secretly

In the evening when I get home from work
You see her kiss me at the door
And I feel you when you hold him late at night
And we both complete the chore
If I’d met you on some journey in some other life
We know what might have been
So you go through the motions and I’ll go through the motions
And dream until you’re in my arms again

    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know what this love is all about
    Stephanie come to me secretly
    We both know we can’t let them find out
    Oh Stephanie come to me secretly


Everybody Knows
(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Be the man with the gun in their hand

I know you’ve dreamed about it doesn’t matter what you say
You’re just a violent little monkey cause it’s written in your DNA
It’s natural selection and there are plenty of us anyway
And most of us don’t act upon these feelings at the end of the day

        It’s a beautiful day
        And I’d never kill nobody that’s what you say

    But everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Be the man with the gun in their hand

Your best friend and your girlfriend and you love them both a lot
But when you walked in on them naked they deserved just what they got
People act like it’s surprising but actually it’s not
It’s just primal mate protection that made you fire the shots today

        It’s a beautiful day
        And natural selection wouldn’t have it any other way

    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Be the man with the gun in their hand
    Be the man with the gun in their hand

        The coroner, the congressman, the minister, the pope
        The cop who busted you when you were only smoking dope
        The lawyer who couldn’t get you off for only smoking dope
        The judge who gave you too much time for only smoking dope
        All have someone that they’d like to hang up from a rope
        And every single one of them has got their own list too
	
        Yes they do
        And every one of those lists just might include you

    Cause everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Everybody knows that they could
    Be the man with the gun in their hand

    Be the man with the gun in their hand
    Be the man with the gun in their hand
    Be the man with the gun in their hand
    Be the man with the gun in their hand


Gonna Be Alright
(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    Oh - It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
    So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright

Well there was no one else around
Just you going in circles on your merry go round
Well I was glad to find you, walked up behind you and put my arms around
And said, “Little darling please don’t make a sound

Well if you’ve ever wondered it before
We’re gonna find out if your daddy loves you or money more
So keep your mouth shut and get your spoiled butt down on the floorboard
Or the last thing that you’ll see is this car door

    Oh - It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
    So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright”

        Well I’d like to say I had a greater motivation than getting paid
        But if I said that I’d be lying
        And we’re all beginners when it comes time for dying
        But just rest your mind easy - we’ll all die anyway

You seem like a cool little kid
And I’m sorry things didn’t work out any better than they did
But I’m afraid that I didn’t get paid and now I’ve got to get you hid
So just think happy thoughts underneath this here trunk lid

This is the part that I despise
Though it’s peaceful in the woods with not a soul around alive
This here son is my favorite gun, a stainless .45
So just sing this song and you’d better close your eyes

    Oh - It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
    So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
    Oh yeah it’s gonna be alright


You’ve Got Me All Wrong Baby
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    You’ve got me all wrong baby you’ve got me all wrong baby
    You’ve got me all wrong baby you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think I want to be good
You’re thinking that I really want to be understood
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby
You’ve got me all wrong, you think I care what you do
You think that deep down I really care about you
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

    You think deep down I’m really sensitive and kind
    You think if you dig deep enough that’s what you’ll find
    You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think I care how you feel
You think I’ve got feelings that I have to conceal
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby
You’ve got me wrong thinking I don’t say what I mean
You think I’ve got lines you can read in between
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

    You think that underneath I’m not so cruel and strange
    You think deep down there lies a man who wants to change
    You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think you know what I think
You thing I’d rather be with you than sit here and drink
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby
		
You think inside me there’s a man who just needs love
I’ve just got demons you can help me rise above
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby


Trickle Down
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down	

Well you talked to Milton Friedman and he turned you on to Hayek
Convinced you Maynard Keynes had a deeply seated defect
It’s hard to keep the money if the money gets spread around
Gotta hold on to that dollar gotta hold on to that pound
Gotta keep it all together gotta keep the group close knit
Whatever you negotiate is what you’re gonna get

    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

It’s harder being poor once you’ve met the really rich folks
It’s harder just to laugh when you live the pain of their jokes
It’s harder to accept the class that you were born to
Outside the window it’s hard not to throw a brick through
Gotta get together gotta keep the group close knit
Whatever you negotiate is what you’re gonna get

    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
    I know what you think of me golden shower economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

    I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
    I know what you think of me bathing in your golden pee
    I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

    Drop by drop you’re telling me I feel it trickle down


Last Days Coming
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

It sounds so passe when I hear you say
The end of the world is real soon coming
You sound so convinced that you’re making good sense
When all I can see is a new day dawning

This planet is old, it’s been hot it’s been cold
And everything in between some time before us
And while we may kill each other at will
The universe continues to completely ignore us

But who knows baby maybe I’m wrong
So we better make the most of it before we’re gone
		
    Cause everybody sees the last days coming
    I just want to see your body next to mine
    Everybody sees the last days coming
    Well we’ve still got tonight so honey don’t waste time
    Don’t waste time
    Dontcha dontcha dontcha dontcha don’t waste time

You say you don’t see how I can be
So nonchalant when the sky is clearly falling
When you look in my eyes and put your hands on my thighs
I sure hear the sound of Mother Nature calling
	
Long before we met events in motion were set
And there ain’t nothing we can do to change their direction
But this biology between you and me
Tells me we should do our part for natural selection

If the end’s really near then one thing is clear
We’d better do what we can do while we’re still here

    Cause everybody sees the last days coming   
    I just want to see your body next to mine
    Everybody sees the last days coming
    We’ve still got tonight so honey don’t waste time
    Don’t waste time
    Dontcha dontcha dontcha dontcha don’t waste time


Frustration
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration

Every time I look at you I’m afraid of what I might do
I don’t want to think what I’m feeling tonight
It’s been building up for oh so long, now everything you say just hits me wrong
So if you want to live you’d better get out of my sight

        Reaching the point of overload
        Like the clicking of the wheels in the cracks in the road
        Any damn second I’m gonna explode

    Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration

Every time I hear your voice I get the feeling that I’ve got no choice
But to rip your fucking tongue right out of your head
I feel the blood beating behind my eyes and the pressure and the temperature pump and rise
I swear you say one more word and you’re gonna be dead
	
        Reaching the point of overload
        Like the clicking of the wheels in the cracks in the road
        Any damn second I’m gonna explode

    Frustration frustration it’s boiling over down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration frustration it’s boiling over down deep inside
    Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
    Frustration


That’s It, I Quit
(John Wheeler & Leeson O’Keefe)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

    That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
    That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
    That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
    That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell

You’re thinking I’m dumb sitting under your thumb
Following your rule
Making you money bet you think I’m funny
Bet you think I’m a goddamned fool
But I’ve faced your fear and I’m seeing it clear
I know what I’m gonna do
You can’t make no dough without me no
So I’m thinking that the fool is you

    That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
    That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
    That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
    That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell

I’ve been feeling like a chump busting my hump
Watching you sit on your ass
Sitting on your throne like a kidney stone
That you’re thinking I can’t pass
I can see when you look at me
You think I ain’t too bright
But this world has turned and your world’s gonna burn
When us workers of the world unite

    That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
    That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
    That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
    That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell


She Was Skinny When I Met Her
(John Wheeler & Zack Lyle)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

    She was skinny when I met her
    I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
    And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
    Well, she eats me out of house and home
    I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
    She’s up to 300 pounds or better
    But she was skinny when I met her
   
She likes chocolate cake, she likes t-bone steak
And now the bathroom scale is about to break
She used to be petite but now she can’t see her feet
And all she does is lay around the house and eat

    But she was skinny when I met her
    I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
    And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
    Well, she eats me out of house and home
    I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
    She’s up to 300 pounds or better
    But she was skinny when I met her

She likes barbeque, she likes roast beef too
And she keeps getting bigger but what can I do
She used to be really hot, I used to like to love her a lot
But now with 2 inches of hair and 2 inches of fat, hell, I run out of what I’ve got

   Yeah, but she was skinny when I met her
    I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
    And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
    Well, she eats me out of house and home
    I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
    She’s up to 300 pounds or better
    But she was skinny when I met her
			

Before Your Old Man Gets Home
(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    While we’re together alone
    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    Before your old man gets home

From the first night that we met you’ve kept me on the side
Now my last shred of patience just ran off with my ex-pride
You’re wrecking up my body and messing up my mind
You piss me off and turn me on all at the same damn time

    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    While we’re together alone
    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    Before your old man gets home

You know, I wonder how it is with him and if he feels my pain
If I was a fly on the wall I could watch you jerk his chain
Cause then at least I’d see some action, you’ve been leading me on so long
I ought to take you out the the edge of town and see if you want to walk home

    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    While we’re together alone
    I ain’t in no hurry to wait
    I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
    So come on and love me right now baby
    Before your old man gets home

    You better come on and love me right now baby
    Before your old man gets home


The Rider Song
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

    We need a case of ale and a case of lager
    And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
    4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
    And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

Lord knows we’ve been driving all the live long day
And the soundcheck could be so easy if you just pay attention to what we say
It’s all laid out on the stage plot just like dinner on the ground
But if you’ve still got a question, just call Dave, the guy who does our sound

    We need a case of ale and a case of lager
    And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
    4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
    And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

Now this here ain’t no joke, y’all, we really do want all of that beer
See we play this show for free but you pay us for the miles we drove to get here
And we ain’t asking for those bi-amped wedges just because we’re proud
See we may be an acoustic band but we play fucking loud

    We need a case of ale and a case of lager
    And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
    4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
    And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

        If you want to book the band, drop a line to our agent Paul
        If the local shops are sold out of our records, Rob Collins is the man to call
        If you want a photo pass or you’re cheap and want to be on the guest list
        Call or email Joolz, she’s our whoop-ass publicist
        Martin owns the record label and Lord that man is tight
        But if Jake gets Martin stoned enough, he might buy our dinner tonight
        Maybe - what do you think, Dave?
        (“You’re really taking the piss now, Mate.”)

    So we need a case of ale and a case of lager
    And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
    4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
    And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told
    Lord, we don’t want no excuses because you’ve done been told

    We need a case of ale and a case of lager


Barbeque
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

    Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
    There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
    Than lay around here in the bed with you
    And eat your Bar B-Q

I like pulled pork
Lord, I love making bacon
When I see a Boston Butt I can’t get enough
You’re gonna love my basting sauce
So get a firm grip on these these ribs now baby
You can lay my sausage in your bun and I can watch you gobble it up

    Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
    There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
    Than lay around here in the bed with you
    And eat your Bar B-Q

I like tender meat
Lord when it’s sweet and juicy
With a glaze of sugar curing sparkling like the dew
So make plenty of gravy baby
And we’ll spread it all over your country ham
All laid out on a bed of cornbread just like me and you

    Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
    There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
    Than lay around here in the bed with you
    And eat your Bar B-Q


Didn’t Wake Up This Morning
(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie EP “You Wanna See Something Really Scary?” (2006)

Well I didn’t wake up this morning, didn’t get out of my bed
I didn’t wake up this morning cause Lord I showed up dead
People gonna be talking about how you done me wrong
And people gonna be wondering how when I’m dead I wrote this song

    But I’ve come back to tell you
    This one thing you’d best believe
    Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you say you’re gonna leave

Well I tried to tell her gently, tried to break it to her kind
But Lord she walked so softly when she crept up from behind
Don’t know if it was a shovel, a knife, an axe, a baseball bat
All I know is that my head, Lord, it ain’t where my body’s at no more

    But I’ve come back to tell you
    This one thing you’d best believe
    Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you say you’re gonna leave
    Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you say you’re gonna leave

So now I’m up here watching, I see her driving in my car
I see her buying my old girlfriend rounds of drinks at the bar
But when she tires of her new lover and she tried to break free
I know I’ll get to watch her end up just the same as me

    Cause I’ve come back to tell you
    This one thing you’d best believe
    Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you say you’re gonna leave
    Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you say you’re gonna leave
    Yeah hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
    When you tell her you’re gonna leave


Kirby Hill
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

    You want to get your eyes knocked out
    You want to get your fill
    You want to get your head shot off
    Just climb up Kirby Hill

My daddy made corn whiskey up on Kirby Hill
Just like his dad before him in an old pot-bellied still
Well he never took to strangers heading up that way
When he’d hear ‘em talking ‘bout it this is what he’d say

    You want to get your eyes knocked out
    You want to get your fill
    You want to get your head shot off
    Just climb up Kirby Hill

One night some revenuers thought they’d take the old man down
They asked about the way up Kirby Hill all over town
They headed up the mountain around about half past ten
I reckon now it’s safe to say we ain’t never seeing them again

    You want to get your eyes knocked out
    You want to get your fill
    You want to get your head shot off
    Just climb up Kirby Hill

Great great grandaddy used to talk about the war between the governments
Back when old Jeff Davis and Abe Lincoln were the Presidents
He watched the armies marching up and he watched them both march by
No army never took this hill, no army dared to try

    You want to get your eyes knocked out
    You want to get your fill
    You want to get your head shot off
    Just climb up Kirby Hill

Lately up on Kirby Hill I’m planting seeds of my own
And Lord, they’ll fetch a pretty price when they’re good and grown
I’ve seen the helicopters sent by the DEA
But if they value their lives like I do my buds they’ll stay the hell away

    You want to get your eyes knocked out
    You want to get your fill
    You want to get your head shot off
    Just climb up Kirby Hill


Uncle Virgil
(John Wheeler & Don Wayne Reno)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Dad took us to see some family he hadn’t seen in 20 years
So we could meet em’ for the first time pick some tunes and drink some beers
We drove down to the homeplace, there was dinner on the ground
They said Old Virgil’s at the station, hear that noon train whistle sound
So we went down to the depot to pick him up and bring him back
But the train came to a screeching stop with Virgil on the track

    Uncle Virgil never came back from the station
    We’d come down to meet him on vacation
    Now I guess we’ll have to wait
    To meet him at the pearly gate
    Cause Uncle Virgil never came back from the station

So then we had to go back home and tell his poor old wife
How down there on the train track her dear Virgil lost his life
But she did not believe us, had to see with her own eyes
To this day I still can hear the horror in her cries
Old Virgil probably never knew what hit him
Though I never really met him, Lord, I never will forget him

    Uncle Virgil never came back from the station
    We’d come down to meet him on vacation
    Now I guess we’ll have to wait
    To meet him at the pearly gate
    Cause Uncle Virgil never came back from the station

    He ate a half a mile of track
    He had a cross tie through his back
    Uncle Virgil never came back from the station


Mountain Man
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

    You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
    Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Baby I’m a mountain man

Got nothing against where the land is flat
You gotta grow that corn somewhere then you can bring it up to where I’m at
I’ve got fifty pounds of yeast and some copper line
We can turn that corn to something Lord that sure is fine
Baby I’m a mountain man
Baby I’m a mountain man

    You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
    Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Baby I’m a mountain man

Got nothing against nobody’s government
Yeah but taxes don’t mean nothing to me, I like to see where my money’s being spent
I’ve got my family here, I’ve got the people I love
I’ll pledge my allegiance to the Lord above
Baby I’m a mountain man
Baby I’m a mountain man

    You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
    Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
    Baby I’m a mountain man
    Baby I’m a mountain man


Marijuana
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
(snicker, snicker)
Marijuana


The Moonshiner’s Daughter
(John Wheeler & Lonnie Flemmer)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

It was a lovely day for a wedding
All her folks were dressed in black
When she said I do I said me too
With a shotgun pointed at my back

    I married the moonshiner’s daughter
    How could I go wrong
    Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
    And she makes me liquor all night long

Well the preacher was as drunk as he could get Lord
And her brothers and her dad were too of course
Her mom whispered in my ear, “If she don’t satisfy you dear
Just come on by and try you some of the source”

    I married the moonshiner’s daughter
    How could I go wrong
    Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
    And she makes me liquor all night long

Went for a honeymoon in Nashville
We got a room out on Dickerson Pike
The desk clerk asked me, he said, “How old is she?”
I said, “Man, she’s old enough to know what I like!”

    I married the moonshiner’s daughter
    How could I go wrong
    Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
    And she makes me liquor all night long


Wish I Was You
(John Wheeler, Jason Pinkowski, Andy Potocic & Chad Ihlenfeld)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Well I think that you’re really fucking cool
And I think that your body does rule
That’s why I wish I was you so I could fuck me me me

Yeah I know that I do kick ass in bed
And I would give my own self head
If I could be you so I could fuck me me me

    I’d like to sacrifice your persona
    On the alter of my bologna

Well I would treat me like a god
And I would worship my rod
If I could be you so I could fuck me me me

    I’d like to sacrifice your persona
    On the alter of my bologna

Yeah I think that you’re really fucking cool
And I think that your body does rule
That’s why I wish I was you so I could fuck me me me

    Yeah I would
    I would I would I would
    Yeah I would I would I would
    I’d be you so I could fuck me me me me
    Me


Corn Liquor
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Let There Be Rockgrass” (2004)

I’ll eat when I get hungry, I’ll drink when I get dry
If the life I live don’t kill me then I guess I’ll never die
I’ll tune up my fiddle, I’ll rosin up my bow
I’ll find a girl to hold me tight anywhere I go 

    Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
    If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
    Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
    Somebody’s gonna die

If the creek it was corn liquor and I was a big mouthed bass
I’d drink the whole thing dry and tell them all to kiss my ass
Got a guitar in my left hand, got a pistol in my right
And I don’t give a good goddamn if I play or if we fight

    Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I yell
    If you don’t give me corn liquor boy then I’ll see you in hell
    Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
    If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
    Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
    Somebody’s gonna die

If I spend all my money, my money’s mine alone
And I ain’t never killed no man what he left me to my own
I’ll make my own corn liquor, I’ll grow my own smoke too
And if I drink and smoke until I can’t stand up what the hell is it to you

    Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I yell
    If you don’t give me corn liquor boy then I’ll see you in hell
    Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
    If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
    Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
    Somebody’s gonna die


Ellie Schaffer
(John Wheeler & Don Wayne Reno)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)
and Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol (2012)

    Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
    Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

When I first met young Ellie she was sweet like young girls are
Before she took to drinking and hanging around the bar
And Lord the men that she went through a new one every day
I just couldn’t stand to see young Ellie living that way

    Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
    Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

So I approached young Ellie one dark and moonless night
I said, “Come away from here with me and be my darling wife
I’ll give you love and a family and a place to lay your head”
She laughed in my face and said, “John, I’d rather be dead”

    Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
    Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

Her clothes were all torn off and scattered all around
Blood marked the spot where poor Ellie hit the ground
And all around the county I hear the church folk say
That’s the price young Ellie paid for living that way

    Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
    Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

If You Ain’t Thinking About Me
(John Wheeler)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

When I took this job moving state to state
You said you loved me, you said you’d wait
Until the end of time I’d be your only one
Now I’m calling you but you’re not home
I’m thinking somebody’s taking my place when I’m gone
And there ain’t no reason you should have all the fun

    Cause I’m working on my 13th beer
    And there’s at least a dozen good looking women in here
    I’ve got to know right now how it’s gonna be
    Cause the last thing I want to do
    Is sit here alone thinking about you
    Honey if you ain’t thinking about me

Well I know about out of sight and out of mind
And I do love you but I sure ain’t blind
I’m beginning to see how you’ve been leading me on
So I’m letting your phone ring off the hook
While that blonde at the bar is giving me that look
Hell - I’m going I’m going I’m going I’m gone

    Cause I’m working on my 13th beer
    And there’s at least a dozen good looking women in here
    I’ve got to know right now how it’s gonna be
    Cause the last thing I want to do
    Is sit here alone thinking about you
    Honey if you ain’t thinking about me


Mr. Wrong
(John Wheeler)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

You say you’re old enough
To be over and done with one night stands
What you’re looking for now is a lifetime man
But time’s a moving on
You’d better get your loving while you can
Because life’s what happens to you baby while you’re making other plans

    I know you’re looking for Mister Right
    But while you’re waiting for him to come along
    C’mon and spend the night
    With Mister Wrong

I won’t promise tomorrow
But if it all goes up in flames tonight
Baby you’re the one I want holding me tight
You say I ain’t your kind
Well that depends on what you have in mind
And I can tell by the pout on your lips you’ve got the appetite

    I know you’re looking for Mister Right
    But while you’re waiting for him to come along
    C’mon and spend the night
    With Mister Wrong

Last Call
(John Wheeler)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve been sitting here
Hell, the truth is I’ve lost track
If I could find the floor, I’d run for the door
And I swear I wouldn’t never come back
Well, I’ve spent all night just searching
For something that I ain’t found yet
And now it’s looking like you’re about as close
As I’m gonna get

    And baby you don’t look much different
    Than you did the drink before
    But since they’re giving last call it can’t hurt at all
    If I drink one more

I think you’ve told me your whole life story
I think I’ve told you some stories too
As long as you don’t ask me to repeat myself
It won’t matter which ones were true
Well, I walked in here looking for true love
But now I’m thinking maybe I over shot
Hey, when you can’t get what you want
You do with what you’ve got
    And baby you don’t look much different
    Than you did the drink before
    But since they’re giving last call it can’t hurt at all
    If I drink one more


Hellfire and Brimstone
(John Wheeler, Quentin Pulliam & James Lambert)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)
When you said you loved me and took me by the hand
You should have kept on talking and told me about your other man
Now you say that he’s your husband but you say that he don’t care
He may wear the pants in the family but you don’t wear no underwear

    Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
    Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

You ask me how I know this, I’m drunk and so I’ll tell
Cause what I’ve done will surely send me to the gates of hell

    Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
    Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

My heart could never share your love and it overtook my mind
But he never saw it coming when I crept up from behind

    Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
    Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

Old Lucifer keeps calling me each time you speak my name
It sounds like your voice talking but I hear his just the same

    Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
    Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

I’m Gonna Lie
(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

    I’m gonna say I want you 
    I’m gonna say I love you
    I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
    I’m gonna say I need you
    And that I’ll never leave you
    To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie

I know you want to hold me
But I could never be held down
Tonight I’ll swear it’s true
I’m so in love with you
But tomorrow I’ll be rolling out of town
    I’m gonna say I want you 
    I’m gonna say I love you
    I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
    I’m gonna say I need you
    And that I’ll never leave you
    To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie

You are just as close to heaven
As I can get tonight
So forgive me if I say
What I need to say
To keep you in my arms till the morning light
    I’m gonna say I want you 
    I’m gonna say I love you
    I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
    I’m gonna say I need you
    And that I’ll never leave you
    To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie


I’m Keeping Your Poop
(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie albums “Mountain Love” (2002) and “Let There Be Rockgrass” (2004)

    I’m keeping your poop in a jar
    Till the day you come back
    So I won’t forget just what you are
    I’m keeping your poop in a jar

You thought you took everything
But you left something behind for me
I scooped it out and bottled it up
Now it’s there on the stand by the bed to remind me
In case I ever forget
You’re just a piece of poop

    I’m keeping your poop in a jar
    Till the day you come back
    So I won’t forget just what you are
    I’m keeping your poop in a jar

I had a moment of weakness once
So I opened the lid for a smell
And it all came back to me
In one vapourous rush I remembered you well
How could I ever forget
You’re just a piece of poop

    I’m keeping your poop in a jar
    Till the day you come back
    So I won’t forget just what you are
    I’m keeping your poop in a jar
    Yeah I’m keeping your poop in a jar


The Perfect Woman
(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Mountain Love” (2002)

    She’s the perfect woman
    She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
    She’s the perfect woman
    And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
    But mama ain’t home tonight

I love a woman when she’s someone else’s angel
She gets up before the morning, she’s got someplace to go
And it sure feels good to know I’m out of danger
Cause she won’t tell my woman what she don’t need to know

    She’s the perfect woman
    She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
    She’s the perfect woman
    And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
    But mama ain’t home tonight

She needs love and I’ve got plenty to give her
But we go inch by inch, she don’t try to take a mile
And love between us flows just like a river
But we both know where the dam is, it can only last a while

    She’s the perfect woman
    She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
    She’s the perfect woman
    And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
    But mama ain’t home tonight