Song Lyrics

Below, in reverse chronological order, album by album, are the lyrics to every original song that I’ve written and commercially released – this includes every original Hayseed Dixie song, Kerosene Brothers song, and John Wheeler solo song. I typed all these in myself over a couple of bottles of Brunello di Montalcino. So accept no substitutes or half-assed imitations on those supposed, so-called “lyrics” websites out there. Get it from the source. Get it from the donkey’s mouth. Get it right here.

     You say you want it
     You say you want it
     You say you want it easy
     You say you want it
     You say you want it
     You say you want it easy

          So how are you supposed to be happy today
          When life keeps getting in your way
          And how can you be happy when it’s all so hard
          Every day just waiting for tomorrow
          Waiting for tomorrow

     You say you want it
     You say you want it
     You say you want it easy
     You say you want it
     You say you want it
     You say you want it easy

     Well it’s about to get easy
     Yeah it’ll be so easy
     The end will be so easy

---

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Reflections Upon Hitting a Supposed Limit or Mile Marker” (2025)

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Reflections Upon Hitting a Supposed Limit or Mile Marker” (2025)

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Used To Be a Town

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie EP “Realbilly Elegy” (2024)

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I Do

(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie EP “Realbilly Elegy” (2024)

Wedding bells are ringing in the air
I can’t tell myself that I don’t care
And all the people tell me leave for heaven’s sake
But this is one event that I’ve got to make
And I’ve got a little pill that I’m gonna take
To get me by
I couldn’t make it through if I weren’t high

A frizzy headed girl sings Ava Maria
I’m breaking my damn neck trying to see her
The best man and his goons look a little pissed
But I take ’em on cause I can’t resist
Your parents say again I’m not on the list
And I should leave
The flowers start to sway and then start to breathe

     The ecstasy kicks in and here comes the bride
     My heart feel read to explode inside
     The preacher say if anyone objects
     Speak now or hold their peace
     I run up to the stage and grab his neck
     And tell you baby please
     This might not be the time or place
     But if you look into my face
     And see past the drug crazed stare
     You’ll see how much I really care

          I do
          I do
          I do
          But I don’t want to hear those little words from you no no
          I don’t want to hear those little words from you

Police siren screaming in the air
Time to get myself right out of there
I make a break for the door and I run outside
Duck behind the church and I try to hide
And then I see you running up to my side
Now what will you do

And that’s the question:
What’s she gonna do?

     So obviously these two have had a tumultuous relationship that ended badly
     But those relationships can be exciting and addictive and fun
     And then she went out and found some stable guy
     Who had everything that the asshole didn’t, like a job
     But stability can be kind of boring
     So what’s she gonna do?
     Is she gonna run off with the hellraiser guy
     Or is she gonna kick him in the nuts and send him to jail?
     And let’s face it
     She’s gonna kick him in the nuts
     Cause that whole “invading the wedding” thing
     It never works
     Except in movies
     And maybe songs

          I do
          I do
          I do
          But I don’t want to hear those little words from you no no
          I don’t want to hear those little words from you

---

Drinking Again

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

    I’m drinking again
    Yeah I’m drinking again
    When you left I bet you thought I’d die
    But honey I didn’t even cry
    Cause I’ve finally found a love that I can win
    I’m drinking again
    Yeah I’m drinking again

---

It’s Hard To Be a Christian

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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Poor Dog

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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The Lingua Franca of Love

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

    We’re talking about the lingua franca of love
    So true and perfectly pure
    We’re talking about the lingua franca of love
    And brother you can be sure
    Because you’re thinking that it’s all about chemistry
    Your looks your guitar licks
    But there ain’t nothing wrong with any lady
    That a couple hundred dollars won’t fix
    No there ain’t nothing wrong with any lady
    That a couple hundred dollars won’t fix

---

White Wine

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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Lady of the Bog

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

---

Where Has Your Pretty Wife Been?

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?
     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?

Dig a hole in the meadow
A hole that’s cold and deep
Dig a hole for the secrets that you keep
Dig a hole for your memories
The memories that won’t let you sleep
Dig a hole for the secrets that you keep

     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?
     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?

Down in the cellar
You thought you were alone
Down in the cellar with Mrs. Jones
You never meant to hurt her
As her blood spilled on the floor
Now what she knows can’t hurt her anymore

     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?
     Eugene – where has your pretty wife been?
     Eugene – what has she seen?

Late at night in your bedroom
Hear footsteps in the hall
In the dark see the shadows climb the wall
Feel the pulse of your heartbeat
Grow distant like a dream
Replaced by a mournful lady’s scream

---

She’s Out There Cheating On Us

(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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If You’re Brave Enough

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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It Might As Well Be Me

(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

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The Man You Think You Want

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

     If I was the man that you think you want
     I wouldn’t be the man you see
     If I was the man that you think you want
     It’d be a tragedy
     I spend my life in bars picking old guitars
     And drinking all my beer for free
     But if I was the man that you think you want
     You wouldn’t give a damn about me

They say opposites attract
And I know that is true
Because all those good qualities I lack
They’re the strongest parts of you
You say you feel so alone when I’m gone
To some gig that I’ve got to play
But you couldn’t be happy to see my come home
If I never went away

     And if I was the man that you think you want
     I wouldn’t be the man you see
     If I was the man that you think you want
     It’d be a tragedy
     I spend my life in bars picking old guitars
     And drinking all my beer for free
     But if I was the man that you think you want
     You wouldn’t give a damn about me

---

Turning To Wine

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Shattered Grass” (2022)

---

It’s a Business Doing Pleasure With You

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Daydreams About Night Things” (2018)

For quite some time I’ve pondered how to keep you satisfied
Cause Lord knows you’ve got a hunger that just won’t be denied
I’ve seen how those furs and gold and diamonds light you up
You know I love you baby, but my good loving just ain’t enough

    Cause there’s a certain social standing we have to live up to
    It’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Maybe money ain’t everything but without it we’d be through
    Cause it’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Lord it’s a business doing pleasure with you

The greatest hookers in the world wear the biggest diamond rings
Cause love’s a give and take when you want the finest things
And a man he’s gonna pay with his money or his mind
I see you way to clear to call it love if love is blind

    Cause there’s a certain social standing we have to live up to
    It’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Maybe money ain’t everything but without it we’d be through
    Cause it’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Lord it’s a business doing pleasure with you

Well it’s a merger acquisition
Our interest has accrued
We take a strong position
And our equity’s renewed

    Cause there’s a certain social standing we have to live up to
    It’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Maybe money ain’t everything but when it’s gone you’ll be gone too
    Cause it’s a business doing pleasure with you
    Lord it’s a business doing pleasure with you

---

New Voice Message

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Daydreams About Night Things” (2018)

    New voice message
    I know just what you called to say
    But I can’t bring myself to retrieve all the pain from yesterday
    New voice message
    I know you want me to come home
    But in this crowded bar I’ve realised
    I’m better off alone

Mister Bell would not believe the hell that he’s put me through
Because his voice mail connects me to the hell of me and you
And I’ve tried to put long distance between me and memory
But the messages you’re leaving they keep reminding me

    New voice message
    I know just what you called to say
    But I can’t bring myself to retrieve all the pain from yesterday
    New voice message
    I know you want me to come home
    But in this crowded bar I’ve realised
    I’m better off alone

I guess I could just break down and throw this phone away
But the contract that they made me sign says I’d still have to pay
Oh and then I’d lose this number Lord I wish you’d lose it too
I wish you would just move on and find someone else to do

    New voice message
    I know just what you called to say
    But I can’t bring myself to retrieve all the pain from yesterday
    New voice message
    I know you want me to come home
    But in this crowded bar I’ve realised
    I’m better off alone

---

Last Call

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Daydreams About Night Things (2018) and the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve been sitting here
Hell, the truth is I’ve lost track
If I could find the floor, I’d run for the door
And I swear I wouldn’t never come back
Well, I’ve spent all night just searching
For something that I ain’t found yet
And now it’s looking like you’re about as close
As I’m gonna get

    And baby you don’t look much different
    Than you did the drink before
    But since they’re giving last call it can’t hurt at all
    If I drink one more

I think you’ve told me your whole life story
I think I’ve told you some stories too
As long as you don’t ask me to repeat myself
It won’t matter which ones were true
Well, I walked in here looking for true love
But now I’m thinking maybe I over shot
Hey, when you can’t get what you want
You do with what you’ve got

    And baby you don’t look much different
    Than you did the drink before
    But since they’re giving last call it can’t hurt at all
    If I drink one more

---

Love’s a Fine Fine Line

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler EP “Daydreams About Night Things” (2018)

I brought the blow
She brought the blower
And if you ain’t got a sack you’ll never know her
She brought the need
I brought the product
And in this chain of events I don’t need luck

    And I wonder what is love
    Well it’s a fine fine fine fine line

I brought the fuse
She brought the fire
The more we use the more we desire
She was willing
I was able
And it was all laid out on the table

    And I wonder what is love
    Well it’s a fine fine fine fine line
    Yeah it’s a fine fine fine fine line

        One time is too many then you can’t get enough
        But you can flirt with that line and make believe that it’s love

Yeah I brought the blow
She brought the blower
And if you ain’t got a sack you’ll never know her
She brought the need
I brought the product
And in this chain of events I don’t need luck

    And I wonder what is love
    Well it’s a fine fine fine fine line
    Yeah it’s a fine fine fine fine line
    Yeah love’s a fine fine fine fine line

---

Ain’t No Country Big Enough

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love – it has no end

Now I see the face of fear in the people building borders
They’ve got a love-shaped hole in their hearts
But my love don’t follow customs and it don’t follow orders
Embracing possibility is where your freedom starts
And I’ll sing the song of spirit crying out for liberation
I ain’t gonna waste my love on no fiction of a nation

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love – it has no end

Now when a duck mates with a chicken then I’ll listen to your story
About how the different races ain’t the same
And when I can see a border from a satellite picture
Then I’ll believe a country’s more than a pawn in some game
And I’ll sing the song of spirit crying out for liberation
I ain’t gonna waste my love on no fiction of a nation

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love – it has no end

    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is bigger than your hate
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love won’t be locked outside your gate
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love ain’t got no flag to wave
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love won’t be no nation’s slave
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love is free as the wind
    There ain’t no country big enough for my love
    For my love – it has no end

---

Move It In The Night

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

We are the people – the people that you’ve kept down
We are invisible – but we’re all around
And when you least expect it – that’s when we’ll attack
And you won’t feel the steel until it’s sticking through your back

        Your house is just a prison now
        Lock your doors and gates tight
        Cause I like to move it – Yeah
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright

We are the people the ones you can’t control
You’ve got the money but we’ve got the soul
You own the palace but we own the street
We are the people that you don’t want to meet

        Your house is just a prison now
        Lock your doors and gates tight
        Cause I like to move it – Yeah
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright

We are the people that you think you’re better than
You built your system but we’ve got our plan
Tear gas and social class they won’t protect you
Cause now we’re coming we’re coming to infect you

        Your palace is a prison now
        Lock your doors and gates tight
        Cause I like to move it – Yeah
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright
    I like to move it in the night night baby alright

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So Quickly We Forget

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

How quickly we forget
Forget to remember
Who we’ve been and where we’ve come from
Cover up the embers
Of the fires that burned to separate back when
That we’re lighting once again

How quickly we forget
Our pride and our fear
The very things that we call love
To justify what brought us here
To where our love communicates
In the rhetoric of hate

     And truth is all interpretation
     If you’ve got the power
     We’ll interpret it your way
     (And live to fight another day)
     And come back to fight another day
     When we’re stronger

How quickly we forget
The final solution
Time and time again
We reinvent the revolution
That ends with that side’s yours and this side’s mine
Brother you just ain’t my kind

     And truth is all interpretation
     If you’ve got the power
     We’ll interpret it your way
     But in the end we’re sworn to win
     We can suffer longer
     It’s the measure of our love for hate
     To prove whose love is stronger
     For so quickly we forget
     So quickly we forget

---

When the World Gets Small

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Free Your Mind and Your Grass Will Follow” (2017)

It’s a big world yeah when you’re winning
It’s a big world when you’ve got it all
But when your kids ain’t got nothing to eat
That’s when the world gets small

It’s a big world when you’re on top of it
Looking down from above it all
But when you find yourself homeless
That’s when the world gets small
Yeah that’s when the world gets small

     So you play the hand you’re dealt
     They’ll tell you that you’re free to choose
     But when the hand you’re dealt can only lose
     That’s when you bet it all
     That’s when the world gets small
     Yeah that’s when the world gets small

     So you play the hand you’re dealt
     They’ll tell you yeah you’re free to choose
     But when the hand you’re dealt can only lose
     That’s when you bet it all
     That’s when the world gets small
     Yeah that’s when the world gets small

When they tell you you’re stupid
When you know you mean nothing at all
Made to feel that your whole life is useless
That’s when the world gets small
Yeah that’s when the world gets small

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Too Much Poop To Flush

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

There’s just too much poop to flush
You know everybody pees and everybody poops
But with 7 billion of us pooping that’s a lot of poop to scoop
It used to be recycling poop was something that the Earth could do
Ah but now we’re pooping out much more than She can chew

     And now there’s too much poop to flush
     All we are is what we do do
     There’s just too much poop to flush
     And there’s no place left to flush it to

Same story every time when there’s overpopulation
It leads to disease and mass starvation
And violent destruction so what’s left for you and me
We’re just like the fishes we’re swimming in our pee

     And now there’s too much poop to flush
     All we are is what we do do
     There’s just too much poop to flush
     And no there’s place left to flush it to

It’s an inconvenient truth nobody want’s to say
There’s just too many people in the world today
There’s too many people and every day too many more
What the world needs now is a plague and a war

     There’s too much poop to flush
     All we are is what we do do
     There’s just too much poop to flush
     And no there’s place left to flush it to

---

Insect Kingdom

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

When the temperatures rise and the oceans do too
There won’t be no me there won’t be no you
Only the strong will survive
There won’t be nothing around here left alive

     Just an insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom yeah

When the glaciers melt and so do the trees
And antibiotics stop curing disease
Only the fit persevere
And there won’t be anything left around here

     Just an insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom yeah

When the oceans erupt in waterspouts
You’ll forget all the crap that you’ve been bitching about
You won’t have time to cry
Every last living thing is gonna die

     Except the insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom
     Insect kingdom yeah

---

Doomsday Dance Parade

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Well on the morning after the revolution before
We’re hosing all the blood up off the dance floor
So open up the morgue, open up the jail
Cause everybody’s free – they’re free to raise hell

     And it’s hey hey how you want to play
     Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

It’s a double down or nothing point of nothing returned
Ain’t nothing gained and ain’t nothing learned
We’ll cross that bridge once it’s already burned
Once we’re done way past it

     And it’s hey hey how you want to play
     Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

          Shot dead by the starting gun
          Tell the boy what he might have won
     And it’s hey hey how you want to play
     Love is here to visit, hate is here to stay
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

So you blow the whole circuit but protect the fuse
You’ve got nothing but your soul to lose
And a beggar in heaven won’t never refuse
One chance to be a king in hell boys

     And it’s hey hey – how you wanna play
     Love is here to visit hate is here to stay
     And it’s hey hey – pomp and circumstance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

---

Just My Job

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Well I grew up hard and I grew up mean
In a black and white world with nothing in between
Wrong or right, dead or alive
You do what you do or you don’t survive

You want to feel secure just leave it to me
I’m the man with the plan for security
I’ve got the supply that creates the demand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

     And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
     Gas em’ in the front then you shoot em’ in the back
     It’s just my job let me tell you son
     I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
     Working for my pay till the working day is done

Between color and country religion and tribe
You can measure ‘em all by the size of the bribe
Line ‘em all up and toss me in the mix
Ain’t a problem in the world cold cash can’t fix

I’m selling prevention to be sure
But I make more money from a pound of cure
You tell yourself it’s just chance but I had it all planned
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

     And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
     Gas em’ in the front then shoot em’ in the back
     It’s just my job let me tell you son
     I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
     Working for my pay till the working day is done

          If you want it you can have it too
          There’s no difference between me and you

So I’ve told you the truth like you want to hear
Shake hands with the devil and buy me a beer
If it bends your mind like a piece of glass
The next one son is aimed right at your ass

You can deal with the truth or it’ll deal with you
Say you don’t believe it well babe it’s still true
Believe it’s accidental but someone’s in command
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand
Hate’s just love that you don’t understand

     And it’s crack crack crack hear the bullets crack
     Gas em’ in the front then shoot em’ in the back
     It’s just my job let me tell you son
     I’m just working for my pay till the working day is done
     Working for my pay till the working day is done

---

Something I Don’t See

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

I was the 26th person in line

At the automated teller machine
I counted the smart phones, that’s how I know
I felt like the 26th letter in the alphabet
There at the end
With no place better to go

     And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
     You must have your eyes on something
     Something I don’t see
     Something I don’t see

I counted 26 “Jesus Saves” stickers
On the bumpers of imported cars
On the freeway on my way home
I flipped the radio on and felt a little like Nero
There at the end
Playing my fiddle to the falling of Rome

     And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
     You must have your eyes on something I don’t see
     And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
     You must have your eyes on something
     Something I don’t see
     Something I don’t see

I tossed the 26th empty whisky bottle
To the sidewalk in front of my house
Right there for God and all the neighbors to see
Just like the 26th letter in the alphabet
There at the end
With no place better to be

     And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
     You must have your eyes on something I don’t see
     And I wonder why you’re smiling at me
     You must have your eyes on something
     Something I don’t see

---

No Room For Doubt

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Lord I know you’re the one for me
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
Cause only you can set me free
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

     We’re gonna show the world
     What love is all about
     Cause all I know is what I feel
     And what I feel is all that’s real
     And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
     No there ain’t no room for doubt

Well I don’t care what you may say
Cause there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
I’ve made my mind up anyway
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

     We’re gonna show the world
     What love is all about
     Cause all I know is what I feel
     And what I feel is all that’s real
     And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
     No there ain’t no room for doubt

Well my heart’s here upon my sleeve
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt
Cause I just see what I believe
And there ain’t no room
There ain’t no room for doubt

     We’re gonna show the world
     What love is all about
     Cause all I know is what I feel
     And what I feel is all that’s real
     And there ain’t no room no there ain’t no room for doubt
     No there ain’t no room for doubt

---

You Should Know By Now

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

You should know by now who you’re talking to
And you should know why I don’t believe you
I don’t know why you pretend to be serious

I don’t even have to say it – it’s obvious

     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act like you’re above it
     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act so angry when you know you love it

You should know by now your whole life’s just one big scam
And you should know why nobody gives a damn
I don’t know why you pretend to be my friend for life
I guess you’re just looking for a tender spot to stick the knife

     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act like you’re above it
     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act so angry when you know you love it

          You know and I know
          You’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing legit
          You know and I know
          So why don’t you just spare me the bullshit

     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act like you’re above it
     You should know by now
     That we’re all liars anyhow
     So why do you act so angry when you know you love it

---

Not Thinking About Anything

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

This morning I threw away the telephone
I shot eighteen holes in my brand new TV set
I’m another day older
But today is the day I’m gonna live with no regrets

     And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything

On the day that my first child was born by Caesarean section
My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer
At six in the morning all I saw was lightning
All I heard was thunder coughing back an answer

     And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything

          So many people are just taking up space
          If you think you’ve got to breathe just get out of my face

     Cause right now I’m not thinking about anything

If I could pay just a little less attention
You know it might not seem so strange
How the more that I want things to stay the same
The more I just seem to realize how fast things change

     And right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything

          So many people are just taking up space
          If you think you’ve got to breathe just get out of my face

     Cause right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything that means much
     Right now I’m not thinking about anything

---

Four People

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

Now I’m thinking of four people that I dearly love
And it’s just because of them I wish there was a God above
Because I can’t bear the thought of any of them dying
And it’s just because of them that I keep trying
To succeed

     And it’s my curse to offer up my love in silly rhymes
     When the only thing I’ve got that’s really worth a thing is time
     And these four people
     These four people are all I really need

And of this one thing there can be no denying
In a world of pure illusion there’s just one thing guaranteed

     Though I try to give them all my love in silly rhymes
     When the only thing I’ve got that’s really worth a thing is time
     And these four people
     These four people are all I really need

---

She Likes Bad Men

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Difficult #2 Album” (2016)

     Whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
     She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

Don’t waste your time thinking up a line
Just walk right up and say what’s on your mind
It don’t matter how you look, it just matters what you do
Because the chick digs jerks and tonight it could be you

     So whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
     She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

Tell her what you want, don’t tell her how you feel
Just talk about the car that you’re fixing to steal
Don’t you buy her a drink, that’ll make her think you’re nice
But if she thinks you’re a dick, boy, she won’t think twice

     So whatcha doin’ Son just standing ‘round and waiting
     She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating
     You’ve got the tools so start fascilitating
     She likes bad men ‘cause she’s always ovulating

---

Down At the Exit

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Down at The Exit at the end of the world
In the glow of the neon lie the Ages impearled
Behind the bar on CNN the bullets are flying
But down at The Exit nobody’s thinking about dying

          And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
          There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”

     And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
     Yeah Yeah Yeah
     And down at the exit nobody’s asking why

Down at the exit the tape’s on erase
She told me, “Let’s just skip the part about the chase
And get down to what we’re here for, lord knows the way’s been paved”
Down at the exit nobody wants to be saved

          And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
          There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”

     And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
     Yeah Yeah Yeah
     And down at the exit nobody’s asking why
     Nobody’s asking

Oh she’s got that perfect body, yeah but don’t they all
Cause when your dreams are all re-runs the world starts looking small

          And I say, “Hey baby don’t you give it away
          There’s plenty of men here ready to pay”
          And I say, “Hey baby ain’t no love in your lover
          Cause there ain’t a man in here can tell one girl from another”

     And life’s just a way of watching some time go by
     Yeah Yeah Yeah
     Down at the exit nobody’s asking why
     Yeah nobody’s asking

---

Doomsday Dance

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Last night the Revolution left us screaming for more
Hosing all the blood up off the dance floor
So open up the morgue, open up the jail
Cause everybody’s free – they’re free to raise hell

     And it’s hear hear – the end is near
     There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

It’s a double down or nothing point of nothing returned
Ain’t nothing gained and ain’t nothing learned
We’ll cross that bridge once it’s already burned
Once we’re done way past it

     And it’s hear hear – the end is near
     There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

          Shot dead by the starting gun
          Tell the boy what he might have won

     And it’s hear hear – the end is near
     There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
     And it’s hey hey – take your last chance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

Now you’re dressing up for killing in your cement shoes
You’ve got nothing but your soul to lose
And a beggar in heaven won’t never refuse
One chance to be a king in hell boys

     And it’s hear hear – the end is near
     There’s nothing left to lose so there’s nothing left to fear
     And it’s hey hey – pomp and circumstance
     Cause everybody’s rocking at the Doomsday Dance

---

Deeper In Debt

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well the banker’s got plenty but I ain’t got any
And we just get deeper in debt
And I’m working like a slave but there’s nothing left to save
And we just get deeper in debt

     I said deeper in debt
     Well I’m skint yeah I’m skint
     Before I even make it man it’s already spent

You know I’d drive us to the bar but they repossessed my car
And we just get deeper in debt
Hell I’d call you for a loan but they just cut off my phone
And we just get deeper in debt

     I said deeper in debt
     Well it’s mean yeah it’s mean
     I’m feeling like a gear in a broken machine

Well the only way to get it is to put it on credit
And we just get deeper in debt
Yeah the principal’s renewing and the interest keeps accruing
And we just get deeper in debt

     I said deeper in debt
     Well I’m broke I’m flat broke
     I’d hang myself but I can’t afford a rope

They say the government can save us from the misery they gave us
And we just get deeper in debt
They tax the drinkers and the smokers and they give it to the brokers
And we just get deeper in debt

     I said deeper in debt
     Well I’m screwed I’m so screwed
     By the time I pay my tax bill there’s nothing left for food Lord

     I said deeper in debt
     Well it’s sick yeah it’s sick
     Can’t feed my family man I think I’ll start throwing bricks

Because the banker’s got plenty but I ain’t got and
And we just get deeper in debt
And I’m working like a slave but there’s nothing left to save
And we just get deeper in debt

You know we just get deeper in debt
Man we just get deeper in debt

---

Little Houses In a Row

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

The sun struggles up behind the smoky old mountain
The factory horn starts to blow
And all down the street the screen doors start to slam
On these little houses here in a row
On these little houses here in a row

Well I was born in these mountains and I guess I should love ’em
But Lord you don’t want me to lie
Cause since I can remember, I’ve just been waiting
For a chance to tell this place goodbye
For a chance to tell this place goodbye

     It’s a winding road out of these mountains
     Sometimes the going gets slow
     When all you ever hear around this town is “never”
     They say, “Son you know you’ll never go
     Too far from these little houses here in a row”

          This town beats you down till you’re too weak to cry
          ’Till all of the fire is gone from your eyes
          Leaves you hoping for nothing but just to live til you die

You never can tell where a journey will end
I just know that mine has begun
So if anyone asks where I’ve gone to, my friend
Tell ’em headed East into the sun
I’m headed East into the sun

     They say the road goes on forever
     It might take me that long, I don’t know
     But I’ll know what I’m looking to find when I find it
     Wherever that road leads I’ll go
     Far away from these little houses here in a row
     Far away from these little houses here in a row

---

Küss Mich Noch Einmal

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

As soon as I get used to you babe
I won’t hear you when you shout
As soon as I get used to you babe
I won’t even notice when you turn the bedroom lights out

          But right now you’re new
          And every beat of my heart is true
          So don’t think it through
          How we’ll both feel in a year or two 

     Alles wird gleich
     Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
     Alles wird gleich
     Küss mich noch einmal

As soon as I get used to you babe
There’ll be no smile that I can’t fake
As soon as I get used to you babe
I’ll never make a promise that I’m not prepared to break

          But right now you’re new
          And every beat of my heart is true
          So don’t think it through
          How we’ll both feel in a year or two

     Alles wird gleich
     Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
     Alles wird gleich
     Küss mich noch einmal

Right now in this moment all I want is you
So don’t let this moment disappear
Because there ain’t nothing baby nothing I won’t do
Just to hold you until you whisper in my ear

     Alles wird gleich
     Alles wird mir egal (kiss me one more time)
     Alles wird gleich
     Küss mich noch einmal

---

Like I Want You

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well I know you think your body ain’t what it used to be
But believe me when I tell you it still looks perfect to me
And the girl you used to be could never move me like the woman you’ve become
Cause you’re my wife you’re my lover and you’re my children’s mom

          You know I work hard for us baby
          You know I work night and day
          And all I want is for you darling is just take me in your arms
          Take me in your arms

     Cause every night I could see you brand new
     If you just wanted me like I want you
     And there ain’t nothing baby ain’t nothing I wouldn’t do
     If you just wanted me like I want you
     If you just wanted me like I want you

When we’re lying in bed at the end of the night
You put down your magazine and you just turn out the light
And you tell me you’re just tired well baby how tired can you be
Cause all that I’m feeling is that you’re tired of me

          You know I work hard for us baby
          You know I work night and day
          And all I want is for you darling is just take me in your arms
          Take me in your arms

     Cause every night I could see you brand new
     If you just wanted me like I want you
     And there ain’t nothing baby ain’t nothing I wouldn’t do
     If you just wanted me like I want you
     If you just wanted me like I want you

---

Street Sweeper Lullaby

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

That girl’s so young and pretty
But she won’t look at me
I’m way too old and ugly
As far as she can see
A pearl is still a pearl
By any other names
Sometimes I’d like to see that girl
Swallowed up in flames

     Cause every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
     Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
     One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down

Walking past the church
I can hear the choir sing
Oh but all their words of love
Well they don’t really mean a thing 
They say Jesus died to save me
I think Jesus was a liar
Cause sometimes I see him hanging there
Catching on fire

     And every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
     Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
     One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down

          Oh can’t you see it in my eyes
          Oh there’s a flame that never dies
          Cause every night every night I sweep these dirty streets clean
          One of these nights Oh Lord I swear I’m gonna use some gasoline

     Cause every night I sweep the streets of this dirty old town
     Every night I fight myself not to come unwound
     One of these nights I’m gonna burn the whole street down

---

Wondering Why I Ever Go Home

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

There’s a girl in Tennessee who tells me she loves me
But that’s easier said easier said than done
And one in Winterthur who tells me that she’s sure
I’m out here running, running just to be on the run

          Well she may be right but tonight I’m free
          And there’s a bottle of Brunello waiting for me

     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Underneath a sky of polished chrome
     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home

Sometimes I think of home after I leave it
After I can see it from a long long way away
Change is better than rest you’d better believe it
Cause every time I leave reminds me why I couldn’t stay

          And there’s a new beginning in every end
          The warm smell of possibility on the wind

     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Underneath a sky of polished chrome
     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home
     Yeah I’m wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home

          I’ll take the next devil not the ones I know
          So you can cut that deck baby cut it high low

     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Underneath a sky of polished chrome
     Down the coast highway headed for Rome
     Wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home
     Yeah I’m wondering why I ever wondering why I ever go home

---

Black Forest Skies

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Wherever I may wander wherever I may roam
Out on the sea the sirens call to me
But my Geist remembers its home

     And when I close my eyes
     Every night I see Black Forest skies
     No matter where my body lies
     Every night I sleep beneath Black Forest skies

The whole world round I’ve traveled on my Erfahrung quest
But come what may I know where I’ll stay
When I finally come to rest

     Because when I close my eyes
     Every night I see Black Forest skies
     No matter where my body lies
     Every night I sleep beneath Black Forest skies

          And I’m going back there
          To the smell of the Tannen filling up the air

     Wenn ich meine Augen schließe
     Jede Nacht sehe ich des Schwarzwald Himmel
     Egal wo ich liege
     Jede Nacht schlafe ich untern schönen Schwarzwald Himmel

---

Walk Between the Raindrops

(John Wheeler)
from the John Wheeler album “Un-American Gothic” (2013)

Well you can say I’ve got no feelings and that may be
But there ain’t no point in caring as far as I can see
I just walk between the raindrops

Well I may be cold but I never get wet
And I never loved a woman that I couldn’t forget

     I just walk between the raindrops
     Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
     Yeah I’m gonna soak it all in until my beating heart stops
     And I’ll walk between the raindrops

Well since I was a child it’s been clear to me
The more you get attached man the less you’re free
So I walk between the raindrops

And sometimes I’m up but I ain’t never down
Cause if things get too heavy that’s when leave town

     And I walk between the raindrops
     Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
     Yeah I’ll take what you’ve got until you tell me to stop
     And I’ll walk between the raindrops

Well maybe true love is out there somewhere
But till it hunts me down and kills me baby I don’t care
I just walk between the raindrops

So if you want to hold me better hold me tonight
Cause I’ll be packing up and rolling come the morning light

     And I walk between the raindrops
     Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
     You know I can’t sit still until my beating heart stops
     I’ll just walk between the raindrops

     Yeah I’ll walk between the raindrops
     Gonna live every step until the last shoe drops
     Yeah I walk between the raindrops

---

Everything I’ve Got Coming

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

Well I’ve never cared about anybody’s pain
If they cried to me they cried in vain
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

I’ve dealt in slaves I’ve dealt in guns
I’ve stole elections and pension funds
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
     When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

I’ve watched nations go to war
With the bombs and planes they bought from my store
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

I can hear their screaming ringing in my head
But when I shut my eyes they all drop dead
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
     When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

Life is cheap and freedom ain’t free
And Christ died for nothing if he died for me
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

I’ve got no regrets don’t get me wrong
This ain’t no redemption song
And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight
     Ain’t no salvation can ever find me
     When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
     I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

     There’s no salvation can ever find me
     When the gates of hell slam shut behind me
     And I’m going down to get me everything I’ve got coming tonight

---

Maybe It’s Be Better

(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

You said we should get counseling, we needed professional help
So I went and got a pro, I pulled old Jim Beam off the shelf
One shot I was feeling better, two shots it began to unwind
It won’t take but a couple more of these to get me out of my mind

          I’ll take a drink over a shrink any day
          Cause my heart don’t want to hear what my mind’s got to say

     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     If my mind just went away

Sometimes what you’re feeling is more true than what you think
And I feel more of what you’re thinking with every single drink
I could end this all tonight but I’d have hell to pay
So maybe it’d be better if my mind just went away

          I’ll take a drink over a shrink any day
          Cause my heart don’t want to hear what my mind’s got to say

     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     If my mind just went away

          I’ve come to expect the worst
          It’s always worse than I expected
          If suffering’s an art
          Baby we’ve got it perfected

     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     If my mind just went away

     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     Maybe it’d be better
     If my mind just went away

---

Reagan Leigh Cornett

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

     Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
     I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
     I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
     But I ain’t done it yet
     Reagan Leigh Cornett

The first time that I met her we ate berries from a moonshine jar
But I guess she didn’t eat enough for me to get her in the back of my car
That’s been more than a year gone by but I still can’t forget
The finest girl in East Tennessee Miss Reagan Leigh Cornett

     Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
     I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
     I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
     But I ain’t done it yet
     Reagan Leigh Cornett

The last time that I saw her we shared some apple pie
Now if I can’t taste the rest of her believe I’d rather die
I know her man’s the jealous kind and it’ll either be him or me
Tonight a man’s gonna lose his life for the love of Reagan Leigh

     Reagan Leigh Cornett Reagan Leigh Cornett
     I tell you she’s the best thing that any man could get
     I’ve been trying like hell to win her love
     But I ain’t done it yet
     Reagan Leigh Cornett

---

One Way Ticket To Nowhere

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

     I’m on my way I’m on my way
     You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

Got a .45 riding beside me 99 to life in the trunk
Got half the law in Tennessee looking for me so I might as well get drunk
So follow me if you can boys up the top of Kirby Hill
Where if my knife don’t take your life you can bet my shotgun will

          I heard you say someday I’ll pay cause I’m a wanted man
          Well I say say catch me if you can

     Cause I’m on my way I’m on my way
     You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

Out in the middle of nowhere that’s where I’m gonna be
Well I may not have much of nothing at all but at least I’ll know I’m free
Cause you’re all living dead in the cities chasing each other to hell
And everybody knows it’s all fixing to blow so let me just wish you well

          Across the Rubikon the point of no return
          I’ll be sitting on a mountain in the middle of nowhere
          Watching your cities all burn

     Cause I’m on my way I’m on my way
     You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere
     I’m on my way I’m on my way
     You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

(On my way) you’ll never take me
(On my way) you’ll never break me
(On my way) you’ll never take me alive
(On my way) you’ll never break me
(On my way) nobody’s getting out alive

     I’m on my way I’m on my way
     You can meet me there I’ve got a one way ticket to nowhere

---

Love Cabin

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Grasswhoopin’ Party Pack” (2013)

I’ve got a house down here in the valley
I’ve got a pretty wife her name is Sally
But I want you once just to see the look on your face
I’m gonna have to take you to my secret place

          At my love cabin up here on the hill
          You know my gun is loaded I can fire at will
          So we can drink one more of what you’re having
          Then I’m gonna have to take you up the mountain to my

     Love Cabin
     (I’ll get to know you in my) Love Cabin
     (I’m gonna show you my) Love Cabin
     Well you can make yourself at home baby

Nothing ventured baby nothing gained
Cause I’m a mad dog honey just breaking my chain
You look at me that way, it’s my heart you’re stabbing
Think I’m gonna have to take you up the mountain to my Love Cabin

          At my love cabin up here on the hill
          You know my gun is loaded I can fire at will
          So we can drink one more of what you’re having
          Then I’m gonna have to take you baby up the mountain to my

     Love Cabin
     (I’ll get to know you in my) Love Cabin
     (I’m gonna show you my) Love Cabin
     Well you wanna see it baby right here it is, yeah!

     Love Cabin
     (I’m gonna stroke you in my) Love Cabin
     (Might have to choke you in my) Love Cabin
     Ain’t no smoke without a fire fire fire raging fire in my

     Love Cabin (gotta keep your mouth shut about my)
     Love Cabin (I can stroke you in the butt in my)
     Love Cabin (once I get your throat cut
     I could kill you love you kill you love you kill you in my)

     Love Cabin
     I could kill you

---

Nicotine and Alcohol

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

You’ve got me shaking yeah I’m shaking
Every time I think of you
You’ve got me shaking yeah I’m shaking
Yeah and thinking about you is all that I do
My body’s aching yeah I’m aching
I just want you back again
Because I never thought that it could hurt so bad
To give you up my friend

     Oh nicotine and alcohol
     I’m here to tell you all
     When you try to quit em’ they get mean alcohol and nicotine
     Alcohol and nicotine

You’ve got me hurting yeah I’m hurting
And I just can’t stand the pain
You got me hurting yeah I’m hurting
Hell I’m going right out of my brain
My head is reeling yeah I’m feeling
I just need you one more time
Cause I’m jumping out of my flesh you know
And I can’t find my mind

     Oh nicotine and alcohol
     I’m here to tell you all
     When you try to quit em’ they get mean
     Alcohol and nicotine
     Alcohol and nicotine

          Oh oh how can you hurt me so
          Oh oh how can you do it
          Oh oh how can you hurt me so
          Oh oh I’ll never get through it

     Nicotine and alcohol
     I’m here to tell you all
     When you try to quit em’ they get mean
     Alcohol and nicotine
     Alcohol and nicotine

---

Whiskey Ain’t As Risky

(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

It’s close to closing time here at the bar
And by the way you’re buying me drinks
I know the kind of woman that you are
This longing in my heart has got me thinking
But what’s left of my mind well it says keep on drinking

     Cause I could go home with you tonight
     You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
     But I know come the cold morning light
     That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
     No the whiskey ain’t as risky

I came in here with the purest intentions
And me and Jim Beam don’t need your interventions
I’m not ready for the end of what you’re ready to start
And when the hangover leaves it won’t break my heart

     Cause I could go home with you tonight
     You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
     But I know come the cold morning light
     That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
     No the whiskey ain’t as risky

          I’ve heard it said true love can set you free
          But the whiskey always works just fine for me

     Cause I could go home with you tonight
     You could teach me the meaning of the word delight
     But I know come the cold morning light
     That the whiskey she ain’t as risky
     No the whiskey ain’t as risky

---

Die Richtige Zeit Für Schwarzbier

(John Wheeler and Michael Griese)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

     Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Leider
     Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Heute haben wir ordentlich viel getrunken
Aber unser Schiff ist noch nicht gesunken
Doch leider
Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

     Aber Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Leider
     Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Ich kann diese trockene Kehle nicht länger ertragen
Ich kenn einen Markt, komm gib mir schnell deinen Wagen
Leider
Leider haben wir kein Geld für Schwarzbier

     Doch Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Leider
     Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

Siehst du Dave, er liegt auf dem Boden ohnmächtig
Vielleicht hat er Geld, dann nehmen wir es, ganz wichtig
Freu Dich
Freu Dich er hat zwanzig Euros für Schwarzbier

     Und damit ist jede Zeit die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Jede Zeit ist die richtige Zeit für Schwarzbier
     Leider
     Leider haben wir nicht noch mehr Schwarzbier

---

The Man With the Money

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about the power
The man with the money is the idol of the hour
He’s got no heart and he’s got no soul
But the man with the money’s got it all under control

     And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
     He’s keeping track of everything you do
     Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
     The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved

Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about corruption
The man with the money’s got us headed for destruction
He smiles in you face while he bleeds you dry
Yeah the man with the money ain’t nothing but a lie

     And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
     He’s keeping track of everything you do
     Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
     The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved

Don’t want to talk about love, I want to talk about rage
The man with the money’s got us locked up in his cage
Debt’s his prison and fear’s his guard
Yeah the man with the money runs the whole damn yard

     And no matter where you go you know he’s looking at you
     He’s keeping track of everything you do
     Freedom for the free, salvation for the saved
     The man with the money yeah he keeps us all enslaved

---

One More

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

It would have been cheaper to keep her, that’s what I found out
When they told me how much it was gonna cost me after she threw me out
I’ve got a letter here from a lawyer that says I don’t own nothing no more
So I’m drinking, driving what used to be my car away from what used to be my front door

          The one thing that’s clear to me standing here
          With blood down the front of my shirt
          Another drink won’t make it no better
          But I don’t see how it can hurt

     One more that’s my sole desire
     Lord it lifts my spirits higher
     When they start to pour
     One more and curse the day I met her
     It won’t make things no better than they were before
     But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more

She said if I didn’t quit drinking she was gonna throw me out
I said you and what army baby now here’s what I’m talking about
When I pulled out a bottle of whiskey she pulled out the shotgun
And brother when a woman draws a 12-gauge on you the only thing to do is run

          I’ll tell you more I didn’t let that front door
          Hit me in the ass
          Now all I’m thinking sitting here
          Staring at this empty glass

     One more that’s my sole desire
     Lord it lifts my spirits higher
     When they start to pour
     One more and curse the day I met her
     It won’t make things no better than they were before
     But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more

          I’m telling you Man it’s in my plan
          To be the drunkest fool in town
          And if I get drunk enough
          I just might burn that house right down

     One more that’s my sole desire
     Lord it lifts my spirits higher
     When they start to pour
     One more and curse the day I met her
     It won’t make things no better than they were before
     But it can’t get no worse now if I drink one more

---

You Can Always Leave Town

(John Wheeler and Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

Sometimes times can get hard
When you’ve reached all the limits on your credit cards
And you just get in deeper each day
And you’re too broke to cover the debts you must pay

     You can always leave town
     And turn your whole world around
     When you’re wells have gone dry
     And your ships have all sunk
     And your bridges have all burned down
     You can always leave town

When the woman you see on the side
Confesses it all to your wife
When the fur starts to fly and the tears start to fall
And the blood’s about to be spilled
You’d better get out before you get killed

     You can always leave town
     And turn your whole world around
     When you’re wells have gone dry
     And your ships have all sunk
     And your bridges have all burned down
     You can always leave town

          When there ain’t no denying
          There’s no use in trying
          And life has become one big mess
          When you can’t change it
          And you can’t rearrange it
          You can always changed your address

     You can always leave town
     And turn your whole world around
     When you’re wells have gone dry
     And your ships have all sunk
     And your bridges have all burned down
     You can always leave town

---

Elm Street Rock Cafe

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Sgt. Munchs Drikkeklubb Band” (2011)

     Go go go across the mountains in the snow
     It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo hey

Well we started in Stavanger, I’m surprised we’re still alive
Cause we drank so much at Folken that no one was fit to drive
Still I rode my bike to Bergen through the sleet and snow and rain
But the girl there at Garage was what completely wrecked my brain

          Push it to the red
          We’ll sleep when we’re dead

     And it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
     It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
     And it’s hey hey hey get the hell out of my way
     I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

Last night up in Tromsø drunk as we could be
The sun stayed out all night and just to spite it so did we
At the bar at Blå Rock I lost all sense and fear
Cause a girl named Marianne bought me 15 pints of beer

          Smiling sweet as sin
          She said to come again

     And it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
     It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
     And it’s hey hey hey got one more show to play
     Then I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

From Trondheim down to Sogndal, Husnes to Kvinesdal
The beers, fjords and women, Lord you know I’ve loved them all
Written in my soul just like an old familiar song
No matter where I go I know there’s one place I belong

     Yeah it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
     It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
     And it’s hey hey hey got one more show to play
     Then I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

     Yeah it’s go go go across the mountains in the snow
     It’s 500 miles till we’re back in Oslo
     And it’s hey hey hey I’m coming back to stay
     I’ll meet you at the bar in the Elm Street Rock Café

---

Dagen Derpå

(John Wheeler og Kjell Himsett)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Sgt. Munchs Drikkeklubb Band” (2011)

     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå kommer aldri
     Hvis du alltid reparerer

I går var jeg og Espen på fylla på byen
Og da vi møttes i dag var han litt av et syn
Han var klein
Og jeg var fin
Hadde han drukket mer enn meg i går?
Jeg smilte og jekket meg nok en øl
Og svarte nei
Du tar feil

     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå kommer aldri
     Hvis du alltid reparerer

Jeg trenger ikke å sove
Jeg trenger ikke å spise
Jeg trenger ikke å tenke
Jeg trenger bare mer å drikke

     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå
     Dagen derpå kommer aldri
     Hvis du alltid reparerer

---

Tolerance

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

Drinking beer ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get drunk anymore
I think I’m gonna stop for a year and not a drink a thing
So I can get good and drunk like I did before

     Tolerance
     People say we need tolerance
     I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
     Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
     Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
     Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time

Smoking pot ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get high anymore
I think I’m gonna stop for a year and not smoke a thing
So I can get really high like I did before

     Tolerance
     People say we need tolerance
     I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
     Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
     Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
     Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time

Loving you ain’t fun like it used to be
I just can’t get excited anymore
I’m think I’m gonna leave you babe and go wandering
Find me a girl that can turn me on once more

     Tolerance
     People say we need tolerance
     I wish I could give ‘em some of mine
     Cause I’ve worked hard to build it up but now it’s got me down
     Tolerance keeps me from feeling fine
     Lord Lord, I’m just tolerating misery all the time

---

Alien Abduction Probe

(John Wheeler & Lonnie Flemmer)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

I saw the light, they returned last night
Unanswered questions torture me
How they unlocked the door and why is my rectum sore
And why do I twitch when I watch ET

     Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
     They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
     It’s all so cruel and cold
     They put my life on hold
     This crap is getting old
     Alien abduction probe

They stuck a microchip in the hole between my hips
Such a gross indignity
Involuntary cornhole-ation courtesy of the Alien Nation
Why do they always pick on me

     Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
     They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
     It’s all so cruel and cold
     They put my life on hold
     This crap is getting old
     Alien abduction probe

Late at night I wait alone, staring up at the twilight zone
With a sawed off shotgun in my hand
Drinking cheap wine getting plastered, waiting for those grey green bastards
It’s the only way I can make them understand

     Alien abduction probe happens all over the globe
     They came to scratch their itch and left me crying in a ditch
     It’s all so cruel and cold
     They put my life on hold
     This crap is getting old
     Alien abduction probe

---

In the Backyard

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

     Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
     He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

Big Jim he liked to drink enough whiskey to float a bass boat into town
And when he’d get to drinking that way he liked to smack his Susie around
But late last Friday night Lord, I guess she couldn’t take no more
When the cops came round to investigate the sound she just pointed out the back door (and said)

     He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
     He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

When the police asked her what happened Susie said she didn’t have a clue
She said he’d took his pistol out to give it a clean and that’s all she knew
And she cried tears that were so sincere till she was out of breath
While the chief detective was writing in his note pad “accidental death”

     Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
     He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

Well if you like to smack you woman you’d better heed these words my son
Cause there’s a whole lot of pretty little women these days getting pretty good with a gun
You might think you’ve got her under control you just might be surprised
When your pretty little woman puts a .45 hole right between your eyes

     Well he’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard bullet in his head
     He’s laying in the backyard laying in the backyard
     Laying in the backyard I reckon that he’s dead

---

Norfolk Girl

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     You tell me I’m the one
     Until the morning sun yeah
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee

I’ve been around, hell I’ve seen this world through
But I’ve never seen me a woman like you
Cinnamon hair eyes of emerald green
Bitter and sweet and everything in between yeah

     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     You tell me I’m the one
     Until the morning sun yeah
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee

You ain’t no child, yeah you’ve seen a few men
You see them once never see them again
Early this morning I’ll be leaving too
But I don’t believe I can leave without you now

     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee
     You tell me I’m the one
     Until the morning sun yeah
     Hey there Norfolk girl
     Don’t you want to come with me come with me back to Tennessee

---

She’s Just My Type

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

She’s unproductive and destructive
Too bad she’s so seductive
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She hates cleaning she hates cooking
Too bad she’s so good looking
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s mean she’s unclean
But man the way she fills those jeans
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She always tells me lies runs around with other guys
But when I get myself up in her thighs
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

     Maybe I should listen when my friends say she’s a witch
     Maybe it should piss me off she’s such a total bitch

She’s just my type, she’s just my type
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s vicious unambitious
Too bad she’s so delicious
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

She’s a total slob she’s got no job
But man the way she gives a (radio edit)
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

     Maybe it should make me mad she hurts me with such verve
     But maybe she’s the kind of girl a jerk like me deserves – yeah

She’s just my type, she’s just my type
She’s just my type, she’s just my type

---

Underneath the Bed

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed
     If I find out you’ve been untrue
     You know we’ll both soon be dead
     So baby tell me true
     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed

Well I know you keep on telling me that everything is fine
And I know you promised me baby you’d never cross that line
You know how violent I can get when faced with rejection
But it might make me feel better if I knew you used protection

     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed
     If I find out you’ve been untrue
     You know we’ll both soon be dead
     So baby tell me true
     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed

There’s just one thing baby that I don’t understand
I know that it ain’t mine cause Durex Close Fit ain’t my brand
Don’t ask me how I know it’s used let’s just say I do
I know the what the where the how now won’t you tell me who

     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed
     If I find out you’ve been untrue
     You know we’ll both soon be dead
     So baby tell me true
     Who put that condom in my shoe
     Underneath the bed

---

Cult Band

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Killer Grass” (2010)

Well we’re doing it our way and hitting the highway
Hauling our own gear and playing for free beer
Once in a while we get paid
And when the biker chicks are drunk sometimes the soundman gets laid

     Cause we’re playing in a cult band
     Yeah we’re playing in a cult band
     That’s how we know we’re cool man
     Cause you’re listening to what we’re playing for you
     And all the uncool people man they don’t have a clue
     Like we do
     Cause we’re playing in a cult band

Whatever I’m thinking I might as well say it
Cause the mainstream radio ain’t never gonna play it
When’s the last time you heard a banjo
On the radio (the last time they played us)

     You were listening to a cult band
     Yeah listening to a cult band
     That’s how you know you’re cool man
     It’s just a chosen few who like the music you do
     And the mainstream people man they don’t have a clue
     But you do
     Cause you’re listening to a cult band

If you can’t do it you ought to review it
If you can’t realize it just criticize it
Cause if you really had something interesting to say
You’d be making records I might want to play

     And you’d be playing in a cult band
     Yeah you’d be playing in a cult band
     And you’d know that you were cool man
     You’d be a player too and we’d be listening to you
     And the crowd at your show would all be in the know
     Like ours are

     We’re playing in a cult band
     Playing in a cult band

---

Bouncing Betty Boogie

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
     Bounce right here upon my knee
     Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
     Bouncing Betty baby get down
     Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

Bouncing Betty baby won’t you blow my mind
Right out of my skull honey it’s OK
Rip my heart baby blow me apart
Let the paramedics take me away
Well, you can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
Come on come on come on come one

     Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
     Bounce right here upon my knee
     Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
     Bouncing Betty baby get down
     Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

Bouncing Betty baby won’t you come real near
Don’t hide honey now don’t be pensive
Have no fear baby hold me dear
Cause you look so expensive
But you’ve been making lots of money for the ones that love you honey
Come on come on come on come on

     Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
     Bounce right here upon my knee
     Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
     Bouncing Betty baby get down
     Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

          You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
          You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
          You can’t intimidate me so you best annihilate me
          Come on come on come on come on

Bouncing Betty baby out here in the jungle
Bouncing Betty rock and roll
I hear the detonator and I feel the rumble
Deep down in my soul
Love is war and I want more
Come on come on come on come on

     Hey there Betty come and bounce with me
     Bounce right here upon my knee
     Come on, Betty, up off of the ground
     Bouncing Betty baby get down
     Cause you were built for the killing and I’m more than willing tonight

---

Set Myself On Fire

(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

I’m gonna set myself on fire, set myself on fire
I’m gonna get your attention, you’re gonna notice me
I’m gonna show you what love is, I’m gonna show you what real true love is
I’m gonna show you what love is, baby, cause love’s a raging fire

          And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
          So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
          Of my misery
          Can’t you see love burning me

     Oh I’ll set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
     Set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
     Watch the flames climb higher oooh that smell

And I don’t care what my friends say, you’ll be so perfect for me
And I don’t care what your friends say, they’re the one’s who are crazy

          And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
          So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
          Of my misery
          Can’t you see love burning me

     Set myself on fire
     Ooh ooh ooh set myself on fire

If I may make a suggestion, just pay careful attention
It starts off cute with a lighter but ends up with me and a shotgun
And you crying and me crying
On the news crying, “Don’t you want me, baby?!”

          And martyrdom is what true love’s all about
          So if you think that you could love me baby please put me out
          Of my misery
          Can’t you see love burning me

     And so I’ll set myself on fire (set myself on fire)
     Set myself on fire (set myself on fire)

---

When Washington Comes Around

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

When Washington comes around
He says, “Man, we’re gonna party tonight
We’re gonna roll, gonna rock, gonna level the block
Because nobody’s putting up a fight!”

When Washington comes around
He let’s you know who you’re really working for
But long as I get paid, long as I get laid
I’m gonna keep coming back for more

     Cause I don’t think I care
     As long as I can still get my share
     When Washington comes around

When Washington comes around
Sometimes he don’t even knock no more
He just helps himself to the beer in the fridge
And leaves the empty bottles laying on the floor

When Washington comes around
He says, “Times are changing back again!”
Says he remembers a day when everything was OK
Before it all went to hell in a sea of sin

     Cause I don’t think I care
     As long as I can still get my share
     When Washington comes around

When Washington comes around
He says, “Everything is going our way!”
If I can just overlook all the cash his friends took
Then everything will be OK

When Washington comes around
He says, “It’s time for us to sacrifice!”
If I could just forget that he’s placing a bet
It won’t matter to me he’s throwing loaded dice

     And I don’t think I care
     As long as I can still get my share
     When Washington comes around

     No I don’t think I care
     As long as I can still get my share
     When Washington comes around

---

Born To Die In France

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

Great Grandaddy died back in the First World War
Other people’s money is what he was fighting for
Now the taxman’s still got both his hands deep down my pants
Maybe I was born to die in France

I’ve done rode my motorbike across most of France today
And I could make it to the Swiss border if the strikers get out of my way
But it’s raining glass and the sun’s gone black so Death’s still got a chance
Maybe I was born to die in France

     They won’t speak my language
     They don’t like my kind
     I couldn’t feel more out of place
     I couldn’t be more out of my mind
     But I’ve watched my whole life flash before my eyes like an angry glance
     Maybe I was born to die in France

I’m thinking all these governments do is check my passport at their door
And all the do full stop is guard the rich folks from the poor
The Age of Reason’s now the Age of Charismatic Ignorance
Hell maybe I was born to die in France

     They won’t speak my language
     They don’t like my kind
     I couldn’t feel more out of place
     I couldn’t be more out of my mind
     But I’ve watched my whole life flash before my eyes like an angry glance
     Maybe I was born to die in France

     Sometimes I can forgive the Truth
     Other times I lie
     I’ve never been afraid to live
     And man – I ain’t afraid to die
     Tonight I’m pulling the throttle full and just leave it up to chance
     Cause maybe I was born to die in France

     Yeah maybe I was born to die in France

---

Stephanie Come To Me Secretly

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know what this love is all about
     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know we can’t let them find out
     Oh Stephanie come to me secretly

In the morning drinking coffee, through the blinds
I see you working in your yard
And the flowers that you’ve planted there have grown
Just like the feelings in our hearts
And Lord, your man’s got money, but like his love
He keeps it too close to his chest
So give him what you have to but for me
I know you always save your best

     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know what this love is all about
     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know we can’t let them find out
     Oh Stephanie come to me secretly

In the evening when I get home from work
You see her kiss me at the door
And I feel you when you hold him late at night
And we both complete the chore
If I’d met you on some journey in some other life
We know what might have been
So you go through the motions and I’ll go through the motions
And dream until you’re in my arms again

     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know what this love is all about
     Stephanie come to me secretly
     We both know we can’t let them find out
     Oh Stephanie come to me secretly

---

Everybody Knows

(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Be the man with the gun in their hand

I know you’ve dreamed about it doesn’t matter what you say
You’re just a violent little monkey cause it’s written in your DNA
It’s natural selection and there are plenty of us anyway
And most of us don’t act upon these feelings at the end of the day

          It’s a beautiful day
          And I’d never kill nobody that’s what you say

     But everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Be the man with the gun in their hand

Your best friend and your girlfriend and you love them both a lot
But when you walked in on them naked they deserved just what they got
People act like it’s surprising but actually it’s not
It’s just primal mate protection that made you fire the shots today

          It’s a beautiful day
          And natural selection wouldn’t have it any other way

     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Be the man with the gun in their hand
     Be the man with the gun in their hand

          The coroner, the congressman, the minister, the pope
          The cop who busted you when you were only smoking dope
          The lawyer who couldn’t get you off for only smoking dope
          The judge who gave you too much time for only smoking dope
          All have someone that they’d like to hang up from a rope
          And every single one of them has got their own list too
          Yes they do
          And every one of those lists just might include you

     Cause everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Everybody knows that they could
     Be the man with the gun in their hand

     Be the man with the gun in their hand
     Be the man with the gun in their hand
     Be the man with the gun in their hand
     Be the man with the gun in their hand

---

Gonna Be Alright

(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     Oh – It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
     So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright

Well there was no one else around
Just you going in circles on your merry go round
Well I was glad to find you, walked up behind you and put my arms around
And said, “Little darling please don’t make a sound

Well if you’ve ever wondered it before
We’re gonna find out if your daddy loves you or money more
So keep your mouth shut and get your spoiled butt down on the floorboard
Or the last thing that you’ll see is this car door

     Oh – It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
     So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright”

          Well I’d like to say I had a greater motivation than getting paid
          But if I said that I’d be lying
          And we’re all beginners when it comes time for dying
          But just rest your mind easy – we’ll all die anyway

You seem like a cool little kid
And I’m sorry things didn’t work out any better than they did
But I’m afraid that I didn’t get paid and now I’ve got to get you hid
So just think happy thoughts underneath this here trunk lid

This is the part that I despise
Though it’s peaceful in the woods with not a soul around alive
This here son is my favorite gun, a stainless .45
So just sing this song and you’d better close your eyes

     Oh – It’s gonna be alright gonna be alright oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
     So hold on baby hold on tight oh yeah it’s gonna be alright
     Oh yeah it’s gonna be alright

---

You’ve Got Me All Wrong Baby

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     You’ve got me all wrong baby you’ve got me all wrong baby
     You’ve got me all wrong baby you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think I want to be good
You’re thinking that I really want to be understood
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think I care what you do
You think that deep down I really care about you
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

     You think deep down I’m really sensitive and kind
     You think if you dig deep enough that’s what you’ll find

     You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think I care how you feel
You think I’ve got feelings that I have to conceal
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me wrong thinking I don’t say what I mean
You think I’ve got lines you can read in between
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

     You think that underneath I’m not so cruel and strange
     You think deep down there lies a man who wants to change

     You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You’ve got me all wrong, you think you know what I think
You thing I’d rather be with you than sit here and drink
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

You think inside me there’s a man who just needs love
I’ve just got demons you can help me rise above
You’ve got me all wrong baby, you’ve got me all wrong baby

---

Trickle Down

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

Well you talked to Milton Friedman and he turned you on to Hayek
Convinced you Maynard Keynes had a deeply seated defect
It’s hard to keep the money if the money gets spread around
Gotta hold on to that dollar gotta hold on to that pound
Gotta keep it all together gotta keep the group close knit
Whatever you negotiate is what you’re gonna get

     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

It’s harder being poor once you’ve met the really rich folks
It’s harder just to laugh when you live the pain of their jokes
It’s harder to accept the class that you were born to
Outside the window it’s hard not to throw a brick through
Gotta get together gotta keep the group close knit
Whatever you negotiate is what you’re gonna get

     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
     I know what you think of me golden shower economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

     I know what you think of me drowning in your economy
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down
     I know what you think of me bathing in your golden pee
     I know what you think of me I feel it trickle down

     Drop by drop you’re telling me I feel it trickle down

---

Last Days Coming

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

It sounds so passe when I hear you say
The end of the world is real soon coming
You sound so convinced that you’re making good sense
When all I can see is a new day dawning

This planet is old, it’s been hot it’s been cold
And everything in between some time before us
And while we may kill each other at will
The universe continues to completely ignore us

          But who knows baby maybe I’m wrong
          So we better make the most of it before we’re gone

     Cause everybody sees the last days coming
     I just want to see your body next to mine
     Everybody sees the last days coming
     Well we’ve still got tonight so honey don’t waste time
     Don’t waste time
     Dontcha dontcha dontcha dontcha don’t waste time

You say you don’t see how I can be
So nonchalant when the sky is clearly falling
When you look in my eyes and put your hands on my thighs
I sure hear the sound of Mother Nature calling

Long before we met events in motion were set
And there ain’t nothing we can do to change their direction
But this biology between you and me
Tells me we should do our part for natural selection

          If the end’s really near then one thing is clear
          We’d better do what we can do while we’re still here

     Cause everybody sees the last days coming
     I just want to see your body next to mine
     Everybody sees the last days coming
     Well we’ve still got tonight so honey don’t waste time
     Don’t waste time
     Dontcha dontcha dontcha dontcha don’t waste time

---

Frustration

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration

Every time I look at you I’m afraid of what I might do
I don’t want to think what I’m feeling tonight
It’s been building up for oh so long, now everything you say just hits me wrong
So if you want to live you’d better get out of my sight

        Reaching the point of overload
        Like the clicking of the wheels in the cracks in the road
        Any damn second I’m gonna explode

     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration

Every time I hear your voice I get the feeling that I’ve got no choice
But to rip your fucking tongue right out of your head
I feel the blood beating behind my eyes and the pressure and the temperature pump and rise
I swear you say one more word and you’re gonna be dead

        Reaching the point of overload
        Like the clicking of the wheels in the cracks in the road
        Any damn second I’m gonna explode

     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration frustration it’s building up down deep inside
     Frustration frustration it’s getting kind of hard to hide my
     Frustration

---

That’s It, I Quit

(John Wheeler & Leeson O’Keefe)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “No Covers” (2008)

     That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
     That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
     That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
     That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell

You’re thinking I’m dumb sitting under your thumb
Following your rule
Making you money bet you think I’m funny
Bet you think I’m a goddamned fool
But I’ve faced your fear and I’m seeing it clear
I know what I’m gonna do
You can’t make no dough without me no
So I’m thinking that the fool is you

     That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
     That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
     That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
     That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell

I’ve been feeling like a chump busting my hump
Watching you sit on your ass
Sitting on your throne like a kidney stone
That you’re thinking I can’t pass
I can see when you look at me
You think I ain’t too bright
But this world has turned and your world’s gonna burn
When us workers of the world unite

     That’s it I quit I ain’t doing this shit no more
     That’s it I quit I’m done with being your whore
     That’s it I quit I’m busting out of this cell
     That’s it I quit you can all go straight to hell

---

She Was Skinny When I Met Her

(John Wheeler & Zack Lyle)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

     She was skinny when I met her
     I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
     And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
     Well, she eats me out of house and home
     I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
     She’s up to 300 pounds or better
     But she was skinny when I met her

She likes chocolate cake, she likes t-bone steak
And now the bathroom scale is about to break
She used to be petite but now she can’t see her feet
And all she does is lay around the house and eat

     She was skinny when I met her
     I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
     And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
     Well, she eats me out of house and home
     I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
     She’s up to 300 pounds or better
     But she was skinny when I met her

She likes barbeque, she likes roast beef too
And she keeps getting bigger but what can I do
She used to be really hot, I used to like to love her a lot
But now with 2 inches of hair and 2 inches of fat, hell, I run out of what I’ve got

     She was skinny when I met her
     I used to buy her lingerie but now I wish she’d wear a sweater
     And all I do is work all day so I can get her more food
     Well, she eats me out of house and home
     I used to like to love her, now I leave her alone
     She’s up to 300 pounds or better
     But she was skinny when I met her

---

Before Your Old Man Gets Home

(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     While we’re together alone
     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     Before your old man gets home

From the first night that we met you’ve kept me on the side
Now my last shred of patience just ran off with my ex-pride
You’re wrecking up my body and messing up my mind
You piss me off and turn me on all at the same damn time

     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     While we’re together alone
     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     Before your old man gets home

You know, I wonder how it is with him and if he feels my pain
If I was a fly on the wall I could watch you jerk his chain
Cause then at least I’d see some action, you’ve been leading me on so long
I ought to take you out the the edge of town and see if you want to walk home

     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     While we’re together alone
     I ain’t in no hurry to wait
     I’ve been hurrying up and waiting too long
     So come on and love me right now baby
     Before your old man gets home

---

The Rider Song

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

     We need a case of ale and a case of lager
     And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
     4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
     And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

Lord knows we’ve been driving all the live long day
And the soundcheck could be so easy if you just pay attention to what we say
It’s all laid out on the stage plot just like dinner on the ground
But if you’ve still got a question, just call Dave, the guy who does our sound

     We need a case of ale and a case of lager
     And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
     4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
     And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

Now this here ain’t no joke, y’all, we really do want all of that beer
See we play this show for free but you pay us for the miles we drove to get here
And we ain’t asking for those bi-amped wedges just because we’re proud
See we may be an acoustic band but we play fucking loud

     We need a case of ale and a case of lager
     And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
     4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
     And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

          If you want to book the band, drop a line to our agent Paul
          If the local shops are sold out of our records, Rob Collins is the man to call
          If you want a photo pass or you’re cheap and want to be on the guest list
          Call or email Joolz, she’s our whoop-ass publicist
          Martin owns the record label and Lord that man is tight
          But if Jake gets Martin stoned enough, he might buy our dinner tonight

          Maybe – what do you think, Dave?
          (“You’re really taking the piss now, Mate.”)

     We need a case of ale and a case of lager
     And just enough ice to keep it all reasonably cold
     4 monitor mixes with bi-amped wedges
     And we don’t want no excuses cause you’ve done been told

     Lord, we don’t want no excuses because you’ve done been told
     We need a case of ale and a case of lager

---

Barbeque

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Weapons of Grass Destruction” (2007)

     Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
     There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
     Than lay around here in the bed with you
     And eat your Bar B-Q

I like pulled pork
Lord, I love making bacon
When I see a Boston Butt I can’t get enough

You’re gonna love my basting sauce
So get a firm grip on these these ribs now baby
You can lay my sausage in your bun and I can watch you gobble it up

     Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
     There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
     Than lay around here in the bed with you
     And eat your Bar B-Q

I like tender meat
Lord when it’s sweet and juicy
With a glaze of sugar curing sparkling like the dew

So make plenty of gravy baby
And we’ll spread it all over your country ham
All laid out on a bed of cornbread just like me and you

     Bar B-Q Bar B-Q
     There ain’t nothing I’d rather do
     Than lay around here in the bed with you
     And eat your Bar B-Q

---

Didn’t Wake Up This Morning

(John Wheeler & Eric Watkins)
from the Hayseed Dixie EP “You Wanna See Something Really Scary?” (2006)

Well I didn’t wake up this morning, didn’t get out of my bed
I didn’t wake up this morning because Lord I showed up dead
People gonna be talking about how you done me wrong
And people gonna be wondering how when I’m dead I wrote this song

     But I’ve come back to tell you
     This one thing you’d best believe
     Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you say you’re gonna leave

Well I tried to tell her gently, tried to break it to her kind
But Lord she walked so softly when she crept up from behind
Don’t know if it was a shovel, a knife, an axe, a baseball bat
All I know is that my head, Lord, it ain’t where my body’s at no more

     But I’ve come back to tell you
     This one thing you’d best believe
     Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you say you’re gonna leave
     No hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you say you’re gonna leave

So now I’m up here watching, I see her driving in my car
I see her buying my old girlfriend rounds of drinks at the bar
But when she tires of her new lover and she tried to break free
I know I’ll get to watch her end up just the same as me

     Cause I’ve come back to tell you
     This one thing you’d best believe
     Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you say you’re gonna leave

     Hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you say you’re gonna leave
     Yeah hell ain’t got no fury like a woman
     When you tell her you’re gonna leave

---

Kirby Hill

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

     You want to get your eyes knocked out
     You want to get your fill
     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

My daddy made corn whiskey up on Kirby Hill
Just like his dad before him in an old pot-bellied still
Well he never took to strangers heading up that way
When he’d hear ‘em talking ‘bout it this is what he’d say

     You want to get your eyes knocked out
     You want to get your fill
     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

One night some revenuers thought they’d take the old man down
They asked about the way up Kirby Hill all over town
They headed up the mountain around about half past ten
I reckon now it’s safe to say we ain’t never seeing them again

     You want to get your eyes knocked out
     You want to get your fill
     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

Great great grandaddy used to talk about the war between the governments
Back when old Jeff Davis and Abe Lincoln were the Presidents
He watched the armies marching up and he watched them both march by
No army never took this hill, no army dared to try

     You want to get your eyes knocked out
     You want to get your fill
     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

Lately up on Kirby Hill I’m planting seeds of my own
And Lord, they’ll fetch a pretty price when they’re good and grown
I’ve seen the helicopters sent by the DEA
But if they value their lives like I do my buds they’ll stay the hell away

     You want to get your eyes knocked out
     You want to get your fill
     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

     You want to get your head shot off
     Just climb up Kirby Hill

---

Uncle Virgil

(John Wheeler & Don Wayne Reno)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Dad took us to see some family he hadn’t seen in 20 years
So we could meet em’ for the first time pick some tunes and drink some beers
We drove down to the homeplace, there was dinner on the ground
They said Old Virgil’s at the station, hear that noon train whistle sound

So we went down to the depot to pick him up and bring him back
But the train came to a screeching stop with Virgil on the track

     Uncle Virgil never came back from the station
     We’d come down to meet him on vacation
     Now I guess we’ll have to wait
     To meet him at the pearly gate
     Cause Uncle Virgil never came back from the station

So then we had to go back home and tell his poor old wife
How down there on the train track her dear Virgil lost his life
But she did not believe us, had to see with her own eyes
To this day I still can hear the horror in her cries

Old Virgil probably never knew what hit him
Though I never really met him, Lord, I never will forget him

     Uncle Virgil never came back from the station
     We’d come down to meet him on vacation
     Now I guess we’ll have to wait
     To meet him at the pearly gate
     Cause Uncle Virgil never came back from the station

     He ate a half a mile of track
     He had a cross tie through his back
     Uncle Virgil never came back from the station

---

Mountain Man

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

     You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
     Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Baby I’m a mountain man

Got nothing against where the land is flat
You gotta grow that corn somewhere then you can bring it up to where I’m at
I’ve got fifty pounds of yeast and some copper line
We can turn that corn to something Lord that sure is fine
Baby I’m a mountain man
Baby I’m a mountain man

     You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
     Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Baby I’m a mountain man

Got nothing against nobody’s government
Yeah but taxes don’t mean nothing to me, I like to see where my money’s being spent
I’ve got my family here, I’ve got the people I love
I’ll pledge my allegiance to the Lord above
Baby I’m a mountain man
Baby I’m a mountain man

     You wanna go where the river’s flowing liquor
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the wine works fine but the herb works quicker
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Where the fish all bite and the girls are all tight
     Don Wayne’ll pick that banjo and we’ll drink all night
     Baby I’m a mountain man
     Baby I’m a mountain man

---

Marijuana

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana

(snicker, snicker)

Marijuana

---

Moonshiner’s Daughter

(John Wheeler & Lonnie Flemmer)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

It was a lovely day for a wedding
All her folks were dressed in black
When she said I do I said me too
With a shotgun pointed at my back

     I married the moonshiner’s daughter
     How could I go wrong
     Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
     And she makes me liquor all night long

Well the preacher was as drunk as he could get Lord
And her brothers and her dad were too of course
Her mom whispered in my ear, “If she don’t satisfy you dear
Just come on by and get you some of the source”

     I married the moonshiner’s daughter
     How could I go wrong
     Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
     And she makes me liquor all night long

Went for a honeymoon in Nashville
We got a room out on Dickerson Pike
The desk clerk asked me, he said, “How old is she?”
I said, “Man, she’s old enough to know what I like!”

     I married the moonshiner’s daughter
     How could I go wrong
     Cause the moonshiner’s daughter cooks up corn and water
     And she makes me liquor all night long

---

Wish I Was You

(John Wheeler, Jason Pinkowski, Andy Potocic & Chad Ihlenfeld)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “A Hot Piece of Grass” (2005)

Well I think that you’re really fucking cool
And I think that your body does rule
That’s why I wish I was you so I could fuck me me me

Yeah I know that I do kick ass in bed
And I would give my own self head
If I could be you so I could fuck me me me

     I’d like to sacrifice your persona
     On the alter of my bologna

Well I would treat me like a god
And I would worship my rod
If I could be you so I could fuck me me me

     I’d like to sacrifice your persona
     On the alter of my bologna

Yeah I think that you’re really fucking cool
And I think that your body does rule
That’s why I wish I was you so I could fuck me me me

     Yeah I would
     I would I would I would
     Yeah I would I would I would
     I’d be you so I could fuck me me me me

     Me

---

Corn Liquor

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Let There Be Rockgrass” (2004)

I’ll eat when I get hungry, I’ll drink when I get dry
If the life I live don’t kill me then I guess I’ll never die
I’ll tune up my fiddle, I’ll rosin up my bow
I’ll find a girl to hold me tight anywhere I go 

     Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
     If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
     Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
     Somebody’s gonna die

If the creek it was corn liquor and I was a big mouthed bass
I’d drink the whole thing dry and tell them all to kiss my ass
Got a guitar in my left hand, got a pistol in my right
And I don’t give a good goddamn if we play or if we fight

     Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I yell
     If you don’t give me corn liquor boy then I’ll see you in hell
     Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
     If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
     Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
     Somebody’s gonna die

If I spend all my money, my money’s mine alone
And I ain’t never killed no man what he left me to my own
I’ll make my own corn liquor, I’ll grow my own smoke too
And if I drink and smoke until I can’t stand up what the hell is it to you

     Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I yell
     If you don’t give me corn liquor boy then I’ll see you in hell
     Corn liquor corn liquor corn liquor’s what I cry
     If you don’t give me corn liquor boy somebody’s gonna die
     Somebody’s gonna die oh Lord
     Somebody’s gonna die

---

Ellie Schaffer

(John Wheeler & Don Wayne Reno)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003) and Hayseed Dixie album “Nicotine and Alcohol” (2012)

     Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
     Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

When I first met young Ellie she was sweet like young girls are
Before she took to drinking and hanging around the bar
And Lord the men that she went through a new one every day
I just couldn’t stand to see young Ellie living that way

     Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
     Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

So I approached young Ellie one dark and moonless night
I said, “Come away from here with me and be my darling wife
I’ll give you love and a family and a place to lay your head”
She laughed in my face and said, “John, I’d rather be dead”

     Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
     Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

Her clothes were all torn off and scattered all around
Blood marked the spot where poor Ellie hit the ground
And all around the county I hear the church folk say
That’s the price young Ellie paid for living that way

     Poor Ellie Schaffer I’ll tell you how she was found
     Shot through the heart lying cold on the ground

---

If You Ain’t Thinking About Me

(John Wheeler)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

When I took this job moving state to state
You said you loved me, you said you’d wait
Until the end of time I’d be your only one

Now I’m calling you but you’re not home
I’m thinking somebody’s taking my place when I’m gone
And there ain’t no reason you should have all the fun

     Cause I’m working on my 13th beer
     And there’s at least a dozen good looking women in here
     I’ve got to know right now how it’s gonna be
     Cause the last thing I want to do
     Is sit here alone thinking about you
     Honey if you ain’t thinking about me

Well I know about out of sight and out of mind
And I do love you but I sure ain’t blind
I’m beginning to see how you’ve been leading me on

So I’m letting your phone ring off the hook
While that blonde at the bar is giving me that look
Hell – I’m going I’m going I’m going I’m gone

     Cause I’m working on my 13th beer
     And there’s at least a dozen good looking women in here
     I’ve got to know right now how it’s gonna be
     Cause the last thing I want to do
     Is sit here alone thinking about you
     Honey if you ain’t thinking about me

---

Mr. Wrong

(John Wheeler)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

You say you’re old enough
To be over and done with one night stands
What you’re looking for now is a lifetime man

But time’s a moving on
You’d better get your loving while you can
Because life’s what happens to you baby while you’re making other plans

     I know you’re looking for Mister Right
     But while you’re waiting for him to come along
     C’mon and spend the night
     With Mister Wrong

I won’t promise tomorrow
But if it all goes up in flames tonight
Baby you’re the one I want holding me tight

You say I ain’t your kind
Well that depends on what you have in mind
And I can tell by the pout on your lips you’ve got the appetite

     I know you’re looking for Mister Right
     But while you’re waiting for him to come along
     C’mon and spend the night
     With Mister Wrong

---

Hellfire and Brimstone

(John Wheeler, Quentin Pulliam & James Lambert)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

When you said you loved me and took me by the hand
You should have kept on talking and told me about your other man
Now you say that he’s your husband but you say that he don’t care
He may wear the pants in the family but you don’t wear no underwear

     Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
     Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

You ask me how I know this, I’m drunk and so I’ll tell
Cause what I’ve done will surely send me to the gates of hell

     Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
     Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

My heart could never share your love and it overtook my mind
But he never saw it coming when I crept up from behind

     Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
     Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

Old Lucifer keeps calling me each time you speak my name
It sounds like your voice talking but I hear his just the same

     Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
     Hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

     Hellfire and brimstone is all that I can see
     Yeah hellfire and brimstone is waiting there for me

---

I’m Gonna Lie

(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Kerosene Brothers album “Choose Your Own Title” (2003)

     I’m gonna say I want you 
     I’m gonna say I love you
     I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
     I’m gonna say I need you
     And that I’ll never leave you
     To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie

I know you want to hold me
But I could never be held down
Tonight I’ll swear it’s true
I’m so in love with you
But tomorrow I’ll be rolling out of town

     I’m gonna say I want you 
     I’m gonna say I love you
     I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
     I’m gonna say I need you
     And that I’ll never leave you
     To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie

You are just as close to heaven
As I can get tonight
So forgive me if I say
What I need to say
To keep you in my arms till the morning light

     I’m gonna say I want you 
     I’m gonna say I love you
     I’m gonna say until the end of time I’ll never say goodbye
     I’m gonna say I need you
     And that I’ll never leave you
     To tell you the truth I’m gonna lie

---

I’m Keeping Your Poop

(John Wheeler)
from the Hayseed Dixie albums “Mountain Love” (2002) and “Let There Be Rockgrass” (2004)

     I’m keeping your poop in a jar
     Till the day you come back
     So I don’t forget just what you are
     I’m keeping your poop in a jar

You thought you took everything
But you left something behind for me
I scooped it out and bottled it up
Now it’s there on the stand by the bed to remind me
In case I ever forget
You’re just a piece of poop

     I’m keeping your poop in a jar
     Till the day you come back
     So I don’t forget just what you are
     I’m keeping your poop in a jar

I had a moment of weakness once
So I opened the lid for a smell
And that’s when it all came back to me, baby
In one vaporous rush I remembered you well
How could I ever forget
You’re just a piece of poop

     I’m keeping your poop in a jar
     Till the day you come back
     So I don’t forget just what you are
     I’m keeping your poop in a jar
     Yeah I’m keeping your poop in a jar

---

The Perfect Woman

(John Wheeler & Robert Jetton)
from the Hayseed Dixie album “Mountain Love” (2002)

     She’s the perfect woman
     She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
     She’s the perfect woman
     And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
     But mama ain’t home tonight

I love a woman when she’s someone else’s angel
She gets up before the morning, she’s got someplace to go
And it sure feels good to know I’m out of danger
Cause she won’t tell my woman what she don’t need to know

     She’s the perfect woman
     She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
     She’s the perfect woman
     And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
     But mama ain’t home tonight

She needs love and I’ve got plenty to give her
But we go inch by inch, she don’t try to take a mile
And love between us flows just like a river
But we both know where the dam is, it can only last a while

     She’s the perfect woman
     She won’t blow my cover when push comes to fight
     She’s the perfect woman
     And I wouldn’t take her home to mama
     But mama ain’t home tonight